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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


My boyfriend and I met 2 and 1/2 years ago and we have been inseparable ever since. We are so very compatible and so much alike and ever since we came together, it has been pure heaven. We both came from very painful marriages and have been divorced for several years. When we met, we just knew that we had found our soul mates in each other. Of course, we have occasional issues/arguments, his two daughters drain a lot of his energy, and he has guilt from not being there enough when they were children, but never anything too terribly major has come between us as a result of these things. He is the sweetness, most kind hearted person I know. He fully redeemed my faith in men because after my marriage, I thought all men were dogs and would cheat. But my sweetheart showed me how a man can truly love a woman.

Here's the problem;

Recently after attending several family reunions, my boyfriend started having memories resurface that he wasn't aware of. He started realizing that he had been sexually abused as a child by a family member. All of a sudden, these memories started flooding his head coming back. So he decided to see a therapist. He is currently seeing a therapist now. To make a long story short, my boyfriend has TOTALLY changed toward me and this relationship. He has pulled away and we are no longer close like we used to be. He told me that he needed time to sort thru this all, and I totally understood that. But it's been 3 months now, and it seems like the more time that passes, the further away from me he pulls, and it appears that he's not making his therapy a priority because anytime something comes up with work, or his kids, or anything else, he takes a detour from his therapy to handle it. His kids have a lot of issues of their own - he has a 24 yr old daughter with MS, and a 28 year old daughter that was recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. And when she was diagnosed, he said it threw him further behind in his own mental healing. His 28 yr old daughter apparently tried to commit suicide, and that's how they found out she had bi-polar. She was checked in as an inpatient and they are now treating her accordingly. She was recently released with the proper meds and she's doing ok.

I DO want to be patient, but all my friends are saying that my boyfriend is silently trying to break it off with me, and doesn't want to hurt me by coming right out and teling me. So he's hoping I will get the hint and move away from the relationship on my own. I just find that hard to believe. But on the other hand, the few times we do talk, he has made comments like "I dont want you holding your life up for me.....I hate to see you hurting going thru this......yes I want you to go out and do things", etc. etc.

Could I PLEASE get some advice from someone.....anyone! Does it sound like he is ready to throw in the towel on us? Even tho I miss him and what we had terribly, he's the best thing to ever walk into my life, and I dont want to lose him.

HELP!! :confused:





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