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Re: Is This Okay?
Oct 16, 2007
Does he go out with his friends often? Does he give you a reason not to trust him when he is with his friends? I'm trying to get a sense of the bigger picture here.

There are some girls (and guys) that can't go 10 minutes go by without texting/calling their SO and see what they are doing. If their texts/calls are not returned right away they freak out. Basicly it's like their whole world and whole sense of self is wrapped up in their SO and they can't make a move without telling him/her. In return they get very upset when their SO doesn't do the same in return.

There are other girls (and guys) who are more independent. The can go an entire day without meaningless texts/calls just to say hi and know that their SO loves them even if they don't get the text validating it every hour on the hour. They can see eachother once a day, a couple times a week, whatever it may be, and they are still secure with their relationship. They can go out with their friends once a week for an evening and not have to check in with their SO ever 10 minutes and give them the run down of where they have to be.

So, I guess my question is, what kind of girl are you? What kind of guy is he? I could be wrong, but I'm sensing he would like to go out with the guys once in a while and not feel like he has to check in every hour and in return get hassled by the other guys. If that's the case, I don't blame him. Does that give him a right to call you names, absolutely not! I'm not excusing that one bit. I'm just saying, you have been together for 4 years. If you have no reason not to trust him and he doesn't lie or cheat and is pretty much an overall good boyfriend, why not cut him some slack?

My husband and I have been together for 3 years. In the beginning he would text me a quick hello when he was out and knew I was home. There are times now when he says he will be home a certain time or doesn't call when he says he will and I get annoyed. But there is always a valid reason. I have no reason not to trust him just like he has no reason not to trust me. He goes out with his friends maybe once a month and I wouldn't dream of expecting a call or a text when he does. That is his time with his friends, just as when I have my time with mine I don't call him.

I think it could go either way. I don't want to just say he's an insensitive jerk who doesn't care about your feelings, and I don't want to say that you are too clingy. I'm sure there is more to the story here.

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