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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hi all,

LLM,

I agree there is a big difference between sparks and chemistry and when I saw this guy "M" 2 weeks ago, I did feel the chemistry between us but at the same time I was blocking it out because I was still getting over the ex-boyfriend. I just wasn't ready yet. I have done some really deep soul searching and when I think of my ex, all I feel is negative feelings for him. I'm not bitter but relieved that relationship is over.

He really charmed me and pulled the wool over my eyes (most men are not capable of doing that to me), I guess he was an expert in "manipulation"... there was a red flag only after 1 month of that relationship and I knew in my gut that I should have ended that relationship with the ex right then but I ignored that red flag because I was enjoying the "fake sparks" that turned into daggers.

This guy "M" and I are very compatible, we always were.

Bottom line? I am going to give "M" a chance and my instincts tell me that we can rekindle the old flame. When he kissed me 2 weeks ago, I honestly felt something but at that time, I blocked those feelings. I didn't think it was right to jump from one guy to another and wanted time to sort things out which I have been doing.

Godfreygirl,

I'm so happy you had fun with this new guy, good for you! Just like me, it takes time to get over the ex..... My ex's eyes stopped lighting up when we were seeing each toward the end, there were no more sparks or happy moments, just negativity as much damage was done. Ex has severe mental problems and I am the type of person who likes to "fix" people but I can't fix him or anyone else. And it takes so much energy to even attempt that. He drained me completely. I need to stop being a "fixer" person.

I am going to take this slowly and just see what happens. When he called me last night I was so happy to hear his voice, I really was. I felt like I was home again. Thanks for your advice and understanding.

Happymom,

You are absolutely right, I don't have anything to lose. We are both single and free and when I did see him briefly 2 weeks ago, he had matured so very much. He used to have a short temper but I think he grew out of that, he's more confident and self-assured now. He won't be back in my area until next week but we are talking via telephone and e-mail.

When I first met him he was newly divorced and I enjoyed spending time with him and his son on weekends. His son was a baby and the 3 of us had great times together. I never had children so he was like my adopted son. So we really have a history together but somehow our lives took different turns and maybe that happened for a reason. Maybe we both needed to "grow up" and learn to appreciate each other for who we are...

Well, that's it for now until I see him next week!
Thanks again, Sunny





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