It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Around January my buddy introduced me to this one girl, let's call her Suzie. Suzie had a friend named Sally. Suzie and Sally were on a bowling league together. Competing against them was Brian. Brian tried to date Suzie, but Suzie wasn't interested, so Brian went after Sally and got her. Well, then Brian decided he was going to tell me that he knows a single girl (Suzie) that I may be interested in. So I go and meet up with Suzie and the 4 of us go out to eat. Several weeks later, Suzie and I are dating. Thanks Brian!

Well, nearly 5 months go by and some things have changed. Suzie, unfortunately, lost her job due to downsizing. BTW - we're all 20 years old. So Suzie, who was living at home, didn't have a job. However, she still had her fair share of bills. Suzie had a lot of trouble at this point. She tried desperately to find a job, however she couldn't. She just... couldn't. She was well qualified for majority of them but they always seemed to have the position full by the time she called. Well, Suzie decided that her relationship with me was "dragging me down." However, she pushed on. But nonetheless, she was also a little uneasy about something. Suzie and I moved kind of fast, developing a physical aspect of the relationship at a very early time. I think this bothered her, making her question whether or not I was with her for sex or if I was with her for HER. But, we kept moving forward. Then the bombshell dropped. Her parents said if she doesn't get a job ASAP she's going to be kicked out of the house. It was at that point that Suzie decided she needed to do this on her own, so she split up with me.

About a week later, Brian broke up with Sally. Suddenly, Brian was in hot pursuit of Suzie. Yet Suzie wasn't interested, like before. However, she eventually agreed and ended up dating Brian, who is a good friend of mine. Brian was a total jerk about the entire thing to me, rubbing it in my face and doing whatever he could to irritate me. Some friend, right? Well... about 5 days later, Suzie realized she was making a mistake, so she split up with Brian and cut off all contact with him.

For the next two months Suzie tried contacting me. I always ignored her. Finally, she sends me a message on the computer apologizing to me for everything and saying that if I don't respond she won't ever message me again because she doesn't want to upset me more. I decided to take a stand, so I unloaded on her with every single emotion I had in me. It went on for about 2 hours. It was basically a one sided argument, with me being the one doing the talking. Finally, she apologized again and admitted to me that she made a huge mistake. She said I feel awful, I just needed to at least apologize to you. I kept saying a bunch of not-so-nice things to her, and she finally said, I really don't blame you. I'd be doing the same thing if I were in your position.

Okay, so she apologized, and she acknowledged that she deserves everything I'm throwing at her. Okay, fine. She owned up to her mistakes. Good sign I suppose?

Well, now Suzie has a good job and she's taking classes one day a week to get qualifications to move up in the company she got involved with. Good work, Suzie! Well, Suzie and I have been talking for the last 3 weeks, relatively heavily too. She and I seem to be back to our old selves, as far as how we used to flirt with one another and talk with one another. It's nothing too serious, but it did make me feel more relaxed and "at home" with her when we would talk. Well, Suzie wanted to see me. What do I do now? Well... she suggested we go to dinner at this small restaurant/pub a couple miles away. At the time, I agreed. So in a few days we will be meeting up to get a bite to eat and catch up.

Mind you, Suzie messaged me on the computer and told me that she "knows what she wants now." She said she wants a positive future where she can reach her goals and she knows that I am in the same way. She said she hoped that I can be by her side as she progresses towards the future. Okay, fine.

Thing is, I've been in a constant debate for this for several days now. What do I do? One side of me is convinced she's just using the "I deserve everything you're saying to me" as an excuse. You know, a cheap cop-out to the situation. The other side of me is convinced of the exact opposite. Maybe she needed to experience a crappy relationship (the 5 day old one with my buddy) to realize how happy she was before? She seems to be on the right path now and moving towards a real future. Maybe she deserves another shot?

I feel bad. I almost feel like I'm leading her on by even going to dinner. Part of me is confident in it... like I'm ready to see her again, that I know her and I can get back together and do just fine, etc. She's told me she still cares about me and that she can't wait for Monday. Me? Ehh... I'm not sure yet. Part of me thinks that I will just get hurt again. The other part says, nah, you won't, you and her can have a positive future together, just try it.

I've talked to several couples and asked them about past times in their relationships. Some of them went through some very twisted times, yet they moved on and are now more mature and still dating/married today.

What would YOU do? Would you go to dinner with her? Would you run the other way?

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:44 PM.

© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!