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[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Okay, here we go again!! :mad: I went to lunch with 'new guy' on Friday. Then I spent the day with him Saturday.....spent some time at his house, went to dinner, went to a movie, walked around in some stores and went home. We kissed each other goodnight (didn't feel what I did with my ex....but willing to give it time) and then I went home.

He called Sunday morning and wanted me to go someplace. I politely declined letting him know I had to go to the store, get some groceries, do some laundry and so on. (Excuse ME, but my MAID is on vacation....for the rest of her life!) Then he called me last night (Sunday....that same day) and asked me what I was doing. I said "I'm reading." Then he laughed this sort of sarcastic laugh. I just sat there on the phone and said nothing......I felt he was ridiculing me for reading. Then he went on to say he's never read a book in his life (HUH??) and just couldn't get interested in them. THEN he said "I thought you had things to do!) Well, again, excuse me! I DID my work and was taking a break with a good book. He lives only five blocks from me and expected that, if I had time to read a book, I should have had time to come over to see HIM. I've known him for about 6 months now...he's been 'waiting in the wings' after I went back with my ex. But, I did go out with him quite a few times when I broke up with my ex....would go back to my ex....break up......you know the drill. WELL.....even then, if he wanted me to do something with him and I'd tell him "I'd love to, but I already have plans with one of my girlfriends." He would get angry and send me an email saying "If it was ME going out with friends, I would have invited YOU!" EXCUSE ME!! What is WRONG with just wanting to spend some time with friends ALONE? We wouldn't be able to talk about some things with a man there. Plus, my single friends might get the opinion I was taking a 'date' with me when they didn't bring a guy with THEM. WHAT GIVES HERE???

HEY GUYS.....what on EARTH is WRONG with ME wanting to do things I want to do!!!??? :confused: I just got out of a 2-1/2 year relationship with my ex acting the SAME way. If HE wanted to do something on a certain day and I didn't want to.....maybe go someplace with just ME, or do something with a girlfriend or whatever......he would get angry and not call me for DAYS. He was POUTING (I know him VERY well.....he was my ex-husband's brother). That would hurt me VERY much. Even if I called HIM, he would let his machine get it and not pick up until HE was ready to call or got over being mad because he did not get HIS way. He even did that a few times when I just didn't feel like spending the night with him or him with me at my house......he'd get upset and not call for DAYS.

But.....know what? BOTH of them blame ME for this!!! I've heard things like "If two people love each other, they want to spend ALL their time with the other."......OR....."Why don't you want to introduce me to your friends?" HEY GUYS.....what IS wrong with not wanting to 'be connected at the hip' with someone??? It has NOTHING to do with how we feel about you....NOTHING!

I am getting SO tired of being the 'bad guy' here because I want to have SOME time to MYSELF to do some things that I like for ME.

Have you guessed that I am REALLY pi*@ed off here??!!:mad:

Guys AND gals......please give me some feedback on this. I'm 64, was married for 26 years, did the 'dating thing' for a while, then decided to stop, work on a home business and didn't day ANYONE for about 14 years......then came along my ex and fell in love. But OH the DRAMA when he didn't get HIS way. NOW here it is happening yet AGAIN! SIGH!!!

Just signed FRUSTRATED and ANGRY,
godfreygirl[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
Hi again Godfreygirl,

There is nothing wrong with you first of all. It's healthy to want alone time for yourself. I personally avoid "needy" people who want all my time. I need my alone time! I have my work, my hobbies and I don't like anyone interfering with that.

I am not sure if this "new guy" is for you. I know you still have feelings for your ex and maybe it's best if you just spend some time alone right now to gather your thoughts and go through that "mourning" period right now. That's what I have been doing and to be honest, I feel so much better as each day passes. I don't miss my ex like I used to and I'm still talking to my old boyfriend via telephone and e-mails. He is still 3000 miles away on business so this is good for me. This is quality time for me to reflect...

Perhaps you need this time to yourself to reflect on everything that has happened instead of seeing this new guy that is pushing you? He sounds like he really wants to rush you and that would make me want to back off...

Do you think you really have any feelings for this new guy? Or is he just a "distraction" because of your ex? These are questions I would be asking myself if I were in your shoes.

Hope this helps a bit,
Sunny
YES....I hear you too. I've been on my own for a long time now and NEED my alone time some days or nights.....like you said, to soak in a good bath, do a facial, read a good book or whatever. I just got out of a relationship where my ex would actually get ANGRY with me if he 'didn't get his way' on a certain day OR if I just didn't WANT him to spend the night.....I had things to do the next morning and he would always want to stay in bed until 8 am, then I'd fix breakfast, he HAD to watch ALL the news and then go home when he wanted. I'm an early starter.....I loved him VERY much and loved our intimate times and gave him MANY of them....but, there are just times when I WANTED to get up alone the next morning. I had NOTHING to do with how I felt about him, nothing to do with 'rejecting' him.....but he always took it as a rejection.

Now this new guy started that. BUT, know what? I've talked to him about it and he actually UNDERSTANDS now.....my ex never did. This 'new guy' is one I can talk to about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING and he actually "gets it"!! How refreshing. I'm going to give him a chance IF he listens to me and takes it VERY slowly. I talked with him (and, again, he understands!) and he now knows that I am still 'licking my wounds' from breaking up with my ex of 2-1/2 years. We had a VERY close, intimate relationship and it takes time to get past the grieving process.....even is we know it was not a good or healthy relationship and even if WE were the ones who broke it off.....it still hurts like H*@LL!!

Thanks for the encouraging post.
[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="2"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]OH....thanks rosequartz. From the feedback I get from my ex & 'new guy', it's ME. HEY....after all, who wouldn't want their company just ANY time they wanted me to have it...right? :D Don't get me wrong, I do NOT think we are selfish and it doesn't mean we don't like, love, care for them....whatever. It just means WE want OUR time. That should be respected. Know what? When they want THEIR time, we're supposed to respect that. So....double standard? We are just independent and I think that might just make them feel a bit threatened at times (that macho man thing). OR, maybe they just ARE a bit egotistical and think we should feel blessed that they wanted to come over. Hmmmmm. Plus, you're right. I love sex, making love, the intimacy......all the good closeness stuff, but, I don't want to be made to feel guilty if there's a day I do NOT want to.....not THAT day anyway. Thanks for letting me know it's NOT just ME. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] ;)





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