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[QUOTE=circles2007;3272322]Thank all of you for your thoughtful responses and to help me understand what I am dealing with. If the psychiatrist did talk to his boss its because he gave him permission. When they asked if he had any friends they can talk to to see if they see some of his symptoms he told them no. Because he really doesn't have any friends. So the psychiatrist asked him about people he worked with and he told them they could talk to his boss. So they may very well have done so, but I got the impression from some of his coworkers that his boss is afraid of him, so who knows what the boss told him. You know honestly
I never thought that he could be violent, but as the years have gone on he has actually started threatening me and I stand my grounds, and he usually backs down. I don't live with him anymore. I live a few hours away from where he is. I had gone several weeks without talking to him and then he showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night and though he didn't look right, he said that he was sorry for harrassing me and said that he just wanted to talk. He said he was up here so late for job purposes. But after I opened the door and told him things were over between us he went balistic. He started screaming, yelling, and crying, took some pictures of us and left after I threatened to call the police. I've been thinking that I should get a po but then when I think about it I don't think he would harm me. I think that he knows that if he laid a hand on me, the men in my family would be here in a heartbeat. But at the same time, if he is manic is it possible that he doesn't realize this? Are people who are bipolar/bpd violent? Is it really true that they lie and believe their own lies??? That makes no sense to me but thats pretty much how he acts. When I used to talk to him he demanded that I explain why i left him, and then he'll turn around and say that he knows I didn't leave him, but that I moved for a better job. He is on an antidepressant and sleeping pill, and things that I read here said that antidep makes them manic. Will this be all while he is taking it? I don't think that he can think clear enough to stop taking it. The original therapist wanted to put him on something called depakote after the first visit but he went into mania and didn't go back for a long time. When he did go back he had a new psychiatrist (which is the one he claims said he doesn't have a disorder because he boss said he is a nice guy). Tinker I agree with you when you say that you don't think a psychiatrist would base his diagnosis on someone who works with my husband and has known him for less than a year.[/QUOTE]

Circles - I have to chime in here with my two cents. I am BP also and am with the rest of the group. I don't get violent however, I get filled with rage but keep it inside. I tell my pdoc all the time. I take Depokote and something that did happen with me was that you have to have a blood level check every six weeks or so. The last time I had mine checked, the pdoc explained to me that my blood levels needed to be at 50 for the Depakote to be at a level to be able to reach the part of the brain where it does its job. My level was 43. Believe me, I never miss my meds. So it was like I wasn't even taking it. I was stunned. So he had to up it another 500 mg to a total of 1500 mg. I am also on Seroquel, Xanax and Ritalin. He gives me the Ritalin for some energy as I also have Fibromyalgia which I see a pain doc for that and get other meds from him. All my docs know what the others prescribe. I however am not getting out of the depressive side to well and the last time I was in the docs office he was talking about adding an Anti-depressant. I told him I really don't want to do that. He explained that the community is split on giving BPers AD but with mood stabilizers, it usually is okay. I am still not convinced b/c I know it could throw me over to the manic side. I spent 2-3 years there before being diagnosed with BP. They had me diagnosed with severe depression and generalized anxiety disorder.

If your husband is BP and they are treating him with only AD, he will continue to get worse and IF he ever admits he is BP and does seek treatment for it, it is harder to find the right combo b/c of the AD. I know with me I was treated with AD for over 20 years before they figured out the right diagnose last August 2006 and I still don't have the right med combo.

Please, think long and hard. You said when he showed up at your house in the middle of the night he didn't look right or something to that effect. Promise you will never let him in the house again when he does that. I know you say he his afraid of the men in your family but it only takes a second that they are not there.

I understand what everyone is saying about the PO and stuff but really they are only a piece of paper. I am not trying to be mean or anything. My sister had a very abusive ex that she didn't tell anyone about for along time and had 4 PO's on and they didn't stop him from breaking in the house and beating the s**t out of her. I am sorry but I don't want anyone to get hurt. If he is a violent person and untreated BP, you really need to protect yourself and your child. That is the most important thing.

God Bless, Cheryl
Sacee and Jenn thanks for posting. Sacee you stated that you have put your husband in harms way before and were sorry for doing so. When you are in a rage do you actually remember the things you did? The reason I'm asking is because my husband can act so awful and then he will go out side and smoke and smoke and smoke and then try to apologize, then the next morning he will either say the way he behaved wasn't that bad or either that he doesn't remember doing or saying the things that I stated he said. I always thought that was his way of being irresponsible but now I'm starting to wonder if it is possible he really doesn't remember because of the bipolar or bpd. I checked my voicemail this evening and he left some messages about him getting in trouble at work and asked me to call him. I'm not going to. Since he has no one to take his rage out on, its possible that he could be doing it at work. They need to see his real behavior so that maybe they can force him to get help.

Jenn if he continues to behave this way I will get a po. When he came to my house that night he did look strange. He didn't smell like alcohol or anything but he just looked like a different person. And he was talking very strange. I do want a divorce because all of the emotional abuse, but part of me is terrified of getting one. I mean I couldn't imagine him having visitation with our kid without me around. I'll have to build up enough evidence to show he has these conditions and that he has been abusive so that he will only get supervised visitation.
[QUOTE=circles2007;3274161]Sacee and Jenn thanks for posting. Sacee you stated that you have put your husband in harms way before and were sorry for doing so. When you are in a rage do you actually remember the things you did? The reason I'm asking is because my husband can act so awful and then he will go out side and smoke and smoke and smoke and then try to apologize, then the next morning he will either say the way he behaved wasn't that bad or either that he doesn't remember doing or saying the things that I stated he said. I always thought that was his way of being irresponsible but now I'm starting to wonder if it is possible he really doesn't remember because of the bipolar or bpd. I checked my voicemail this evening and he left some messages about him getting in trouble at work and asked me to call him. I'm not going to. Since he has no one to take his rage out on, its possible that he could be doing it at work. They need to see his real behavior so that maybe they can force him to get help.

Jenn if he continues to behave this way I will get a po. When he came to my house that night he did look strange. He didn't smell like alcohol or anything but he just looked like a different person. And he was talking very strange. I do want a divorce because all of the emotional abuse, but part of me is terrified of getting one. I mean I couldn't imagine him having visitation with our kid without me around. I'll have to build up enough evidence to show he has these conditions and that he has been abusive so that he will only get supervised visitation.[/QUOTE]

Circles - I can relate to the emotionally abuse as I went through that along with the mental abuse with my first husband. Do not let him get the upper hand with that. Keep getting the PO's if for nothing else but for evidence for visitation rights. Keep all voice mail messages and do not erase. If you have to go out and buy a recorder so that anytime he calls, just start recording and don't turn it off even if it sounds like he is in a good mood as it can flip with a drop of a hat. I know that you can get recorders that hook directly to the phone that as soon as anyone starts talking, it automatically starts recording as my friend had to do this. I believe she got it at Radio Shack.

Please do not fall for his lies b/c that is what they are. Until he is willing to admit he has a problem and get proper treatment, there is nothing anyone can do.

Have you seen any type of this behavior in any of his family members. It could be depression, BP or something to that effect. Does his family know how he is? Are they afraid of him also or do they just ignore him?

I am sending my angels to watch over you and yours, :angel: :angel: God Bless. cheryl





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