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Relationship Health Message Board


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I have been an Air Force wife for almost 13 years. Right now my husband is serving a year in Korea. he is actually here on his midtour which this week is the last. He goes back next Monday to finish up the last four months. There have been lots of time away from him. But this time has been the longest and I swear it has been harder on him than me. He has hated this time so much. So even though it will be hard on you it will be hard on him as well. Granted he will be kept busy but that doesnt mean he wont going to an empty bed(smaller but still empty).
The first time apart I cried alot the week he was leaving and the first two weeks he was gone. But I had a toddler and school to deal with so I didnt have a lot of time to wallow in self pity. So my crying was done at night in our empty bed.
Dealing with the empty house and loneliness is a personal thing. I dont know of a single wife or gf that deals with it the same. Yes we all cry but to go to the empty bed and to get up alone we each figure out our own ways of cooping.
With Basic he wont have a lot of time to contact you but writing letters to him will help you pass the time and give him something to read when he does have a few minutes to himself. Tech school he will have more time to talk to you and either email or write you.
Since you dont have kids then you might want to look into a pet. I know sounds odd but then the house wont be so empty and you can share the bed with that pet. If a pet isnt an option then look into somethings you have been wanting to do but havent had the time. Catch up on some reading or a new hobby. You can also plan out more time with friends. Or look into things you are interested in. You can also use the time to plan things for when you two are back together. That way you can surprise him with special moments.
As for it being the beginning of your lonely time that isnt always true. Depending on his career field depends on how much time he will be either deployed or tdy and the base he is stationed at. Some bases and career fields have a higher deployment/tdy rate than others. So dont count your time alone time just yet.
Another thing during Tech school he will find out where his first station(base) he wont have much choice in that matter so chances are you will have to move shortly after he finishes Tech school if you plan on still living together after he finishes that.
It seems like a huge issue but trust me you do adjust and you figure out how to cope. For me and Dh we found that the time apart gives us the chance to see how much we mean to each other. In other words we dont fall into the trap of taking advantage of what we do have or forgetting how we truly feel about each other. Our time apart keeps our eyes and hearts open to each other. Also we joke that the first two weeks back together is like mini honeymoons for us. Actually many couples have that joke and friends and family tend to back off for that reunion time....lol
It wont be easy but you will adjust and get use to it. It just takes time and an open mind.
Good luck.





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