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Relationship Health Message Board

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Re: Trust
Feb 28, 2008
Hi replied to my thread about whether I could trust my boyfriend, and your advice was really helpful. We are still together and things are getting better every day, despite a lot of people telling me it was the end of the world.

The way I've come to look at it is, no-one is perfect, and everyone does stupid things. The question is how stupid, and how much it matters to you, and only you can answer that. My boyfriend lied to me and yeah I was really upset, but I love him and a stupid mistake doesn't have to be the end of the world. You say that you had 22 years of happiness, thats an awful lot by anyones standards, and personally I wouldn't want to throw it all away over some emails. If he cheated then of course that would be different, but without evidence it seems daft to torture yourself with that thought.

I know how you feel, cos I never thought my boyfriend would lie to me either. But it happened, and we just have to get on with it. Hard to forgive, even harder to forget, but better that than a lifetime of brooding over what-ifs. I would make sure he knows that what he did was wrong, that he's on his last chance and that he sees just how close he came to losing you, then let it go. Otherwise you'll drive yourself mad. I know its really hard, but the sooner you move on from torturing yourself with what-ifs, the better you'll feel. I know I do.

Good luck. Suzy x x x ;)

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