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Honestly? I think you should just let it go and kick the guy to the curb. Whether or not he comes back, just let him go off and be an idiot. I realize you want to try to get some kind of revenge or whatever, but in all honesty, it's really not worth it.

I've always said this, from the the time I had my first breakup in 1993, the best revenge against an ex is to seriously become more successful and better than you were when you were with them. And then let them see how much better your life is without them. That speaks way more volumes about how they meant nothing to you than anything you could do to him right now.

There are other guys out there who have way more class than this loser. I honestly wouldn't waste another minute thinking about him or worrying about what to do next. Don't do anything, just move on. He's totally not worth your time or effort. Focus on something positive instead, something that will improve your life.
okay, thank you. i am trying and will. Thank you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It can't be that I am right and you are all wrong, it has to be the other way around! Thanks!
funny thing about this post....i would be curios to see if a cold, emotionless real player would actually respond in a relationship forum....I will keep my eye on this one
It would be really nice to help us good people out if they would. Give us signs, tell us how it works and even for the future, how when you see these signs, you play them back! :)
Revenge is a dish that is best served cold.

I know how you feel. I have been there before. But I don't know if I can give you proper advice on that one, or to be more exact, not the one piece of advice that you are probably waiting for.

Ok, I think you would be better to let time alone do its own tricks on him. He will get old, too, and people will betray him as well. Don't invest any drop of your energy with such a fool. Just turn this page of your life's book and read on.

But there is one ritual that you could perform that would perhaps release some of your anger towards him. Write a letter on a large sheet of paper telling him or anyone else (like you did with us on the forum) about what happened, how you feel, etc, and then burn this letter. Slowly. Fire is a great redeemer. If he left any worthless belonging with you, burn it together with the letter.

There you are.
Thank you Pendulum. However, I see him often, we are neighbors. How do you act cold? Just let time do its own trick on him? I don't understand that at all? In time he will get old and people will play him? I doubt that very, very much. He is cold......uncaring and that is how he came across this morning. I guess I pissed him off last week when he said I gave him a look? Should I have not? That was last Wed. when I last saw him. Today is tuesday. Should I have kissed his face or his *** after what he did to me? I see why he cannot be in a relationship, he doesn't have what it takes in any area....at all.

I will just be cold...I don't know how to do that. However, we were friends and we would have helped each other in a pinch, not now.

I want satisfaction, I want him to come and look for me now or a month or two months from now and I want to say something in a nice way like, I'm sorry, I'm on the phone..perhaps I can come by later to see you and never show up or say something like......this didn't work then and it won't work now.

I have 2 other opportunities to date, not really what I want to do right now but I guess I should as I don't know if they could be better suited for me or if I will just get let down again.

He made me feel as though I didn't say the right thing always and that is not the case. I am human, I make mistakes and I can't walk on eggs all the time and apologize for things that were not said to hurt him intentionally. I am hurt and I feel used and I feel like something is totally wrong with me. That's awful. I thought he was this great guy. I remember going to church and thanking God for finally putting someone good in my life as I have had it rough in the past, very rough. What happened? Could I have been so blind?
Maybe it is me, maybe I did something to turn him off or leave that bad taste in his mouth but I don't think it was anything awful like cheating, yelling and swearing, lying or stealing...things that could not be talked about. He couldn't talk to me...he tried and ran. Immature, insecure or what?

Anyway, I have to focus on all the goods things I have in my life. I don't know why bad things happen to good people, maybe they are lessons learned but I am a firm believer that what goes around comes around and you get what you put out there.

Thank you for your advice, if I only had a crystal ball. My friend tells me that he will eventually come knocking but after what happened this a.m. I doubt that, I see that nasty, cold side and I really feel that i will never get what I want. If only I had the right advice and follows it.

Thank you Pendulum, thank you.
To be perfectly honest, you played yourself. This guy flat out said that he didn't want a relationship. When somebody says that, they mean it. If you choose not to believe them then you are fooling yourself. :(
Hi

GypsyArcher....after spending 2 months with him, he told me a lot of things. He said he liked me very much, he said he thought the world of me. He was making plans to do this and that. he came to see me almost every night. We both didn't put pressuer but he NEVER NEVER TOLD ME that he didn't wnat a relationship with me. We never said this is just for sex or fun, etc. NEVER. So he wasn't honest about me. He had dinner with my mom and I, etc. Who would do that? Don't be so judgemental.....I am over this you are harsh and everyone makes mistakes, I am sure you have had your share too.
yes, I agree but I don't think I had a label for it either after 2 mos. He did refer to me the week before this happened as "I told him my girlfriend did it". I was kind of shocked but didn't respond, just went about my business. We both siad we enjoyed each other's company and we were getting to know each other...didn't know where it would go. However, I don't like the fact that he did not tell me at the end "I don't want to see you", I don't want to call you, etc. Instead...he was holding his head saying...I don't know...I said I have the right to ask you where we stand, I was very upfront and in his face. He said things after our little spat (which was BIG in his eyes) I am trying to adjust, I haven't had to do this in a long time, etc. Instead he retreats, never says...I don't think we are clicking, no more, etc. Instead.....that's it. Immature no?

anyway, I am trying to move forward........I really am. I have to try to trust, I really must or I won't be able to more forward. I guess this was a mistake...everyone makes mistakes. At the very least, I am still trying to be a good person and exhibit that. I am disappointed that the person I really thought he was (and all the other neighbors do as well) didn't turn out to be. I really thought he was a very, very nice decent guy. However, to not say a word, use a decent woman and then look at me like I did something wrong, and then sneak into his complex through the basement not to come face to face with me? That shows me there is something very wrong....perhaps guilt? Perhaps he can't deal. Maybe he is mental! LOL!!!!

Oh well....I will try to see these red flags in the future more quicky and, hopefully, when I see them....or I get a bad vibe/gut...I will walk.
well, not really used, and the sex for me was not good. HOnestly.....he was not what i thought he would be. He came across as this nice guy....really caring to his family, friends. Genuinely nice guy. He was rough to the touch and kind of selfish. I think...

look I haven't been with many guys...but if you tell someone you're hurting me. Do they just keep going at it. Look......we talked about it and it was only 1 time and I thin the first time when 2 people are together....it can be awkward..you don't know each other that well. However, even the kissing didn't really do it for me....

He shaves his chest? Does anyone do that? That gets stubbly and hurtss too. His face is like that too...he is lazy.

I don't think he used me...we were getting to know each other and we were pleaseant company to each other. Never forward...It took him a month to kiss me. However.................what he exhibited as the person inside in the end...was not the honest decent person I thought he was. He should have just been upfront and said this isn't working. I gave him every single opportunity to do that.....and he never said he didn't want it. He said things like...why would I say that if it isn't what I really want. once it is out I can't take it back....or i'm trying to adjust, I haven't had to deal with this in a long time (meaning a woman....moods, ups downs PMS, etc.). I playfully at one point put my fingertips on each cheek and went (smack (or tap) smack smack) and he got mad and siad I smacked him in the face!!!!! All these excuses. Why didn't he just say look, you really arent' doing it for me. My respect for him would have been a lot different than the taste he left me with. I am not perfect Rose...in anyw ay....but by today's standards I am a lot better than most...grounded, good job, together, clean, etc. I was friends with him first...for months....before anything. He even said we are friends and that means a lot. Are all these things lines of BS????? Thta is what I am left with. I could never be with him again...I would question everything which is a no no........however, the truth would have been nice. Even if he would have come out and said...look, I can't do relationships so let me give the opportunity to walk if casual or hanging out is not for you. I have been nothing more than honest with him,.....right up until yesterday morning when he was sneaking through the basement door. What kind of an idiot does tht?
coward and afraid to face me.......well, that is his problem not mine, then he should move. :)

He absolutely knows what kind of a woman/person I am. I am really very honest and decent. He absolutely knew that and still knows that. I guess at this point, his concious (sp.?) should be his guide. He asked me a million questions, we were friends for 8 mos. Look.......we really were friendly before anything....my vibe on him is not good....and I think he also knows I am on to his game.

The day he said we would talk.....he came over and ended up running out with a "stomach ache". Got home said ....I have the shits...I have to take pepto. I went over to him 30 mins. later....he was laying in a very dark apt. on the couch with only his TV on. I am certain....as he said I was good sexually with him.......he just may be back. Has some issues about climaxing....either way...orally or intercouse (with me both). Nothing for me. EVER! :) He said...he would never have known from looking at me (I look like a nice woman) tht I could do that. He said nobody ever did that like thta to him......

I am sure that at some point he will be back. Then I will say...the way you handled things left a bad taste in my mouth.....but we will see each other around. I don't think he is a coward...I think he knew what he was doing.....and he left the door open just in case.

In any event....I have to open myself up at some point and I have trust or I will never be able to meet anyone and go forward. We all make mistakes....I just wish he were more upfront.......
Hillary....that is what one of my friends siad......He is just immature. You may be right as well. I honestly try to look at the good in people, I really do. I was raised that way. My mom is like that too........

I think he is immature. If a man talks about women looking at them (from 7 years ago) or say......send so and so....he is the best view I've gotten all day, etc. not always, but mentions things like that...and does thinkgs like...I rang his bell to bring him food one day on my way out and he opened the door with a towel around him like ....tata here I am. Are you kidding....he is immature. But....when it came to taking care of family, he really did and does the right thing for sure.

Issues...many....that is why he can't do a relationship. The last woman he was with (they lived together) he told me was an "arrangement". Can you imagine?
You now what......I am thinking that he has issues....maybe with life, relationships and a lot of family issues. He likes his free time and doesn't want to answer to anyone. However, I don't know wht I did that would turn someone so against me.....that troubles me the most. Also, the feeling of him not wnating to be seen with me....that is wht hurts. I never was made to feel like that at all by anyone ever. I am pretty and petite and nice. I don't get it. Why? Not wanting anyone to think of him as a couple or involved? Sick issues. Anyway.....I saw some friends of his today. they were more than nice to me and we joked and laughed. Hmmmm I wonder what he told them about me??? Yikes
I just read an article about commitment phobic men/women. Hmmmmm

Not wanting to be seen in public with you...walking ahead of you...not holding hands. Hmmmmmm Also feeling claustorphobic when approached about things...usually rents rather than owns...(but he owns now) because unsure of where they want to be. OMG! This is so him..
[QUOTE=dma11663;3288003]I just read an article about commitment phobic men/women. Hmmmmm

Not wanting to be seen in public with you...walking ahead of you...not holding hands. Hmmmmmm Also feeling claustorphobic when approached about things...usually rents rather than owns...(but he owns now) because unsure of where they want to be. OMG! This is so him..[/QUOTE]

I read the original post but only skimmed the responses so forgive me if I missed something, but...

Ok, here's the first thing you need to do. QUIT trying to figure him out, or try to understand why he did what he did, etc. The GOOD news is, it doesn't matter, you don't need to know, it won't change anything at all if you did know, so stop wasting anymore brain cells on it.

Women go into every relationship thinking this - "he's really great, I really like him a lot, he might be "the one," let's pursue this and see where it takes us. Maybe somewhere really wonderful!!!" Men go into relationships thinking this - "I'm bored, lonely and horny, and she's here, she's kinda hot, seems nice enough, sure let's knock boots." The issue of "is she the one??" never even crosses their mind until and unless they actually find that one woman in 3.5 million that they do fallin love with enough to marry and live happily ever after with.
Yes, I agree you just have to forget about "satisfaction." You keep saying "I want HIM to come around, call me, etc." Anytime you hindge your happiness on what someone ELSE may or maynot do, you're setting yourself up for a fall. I know. For a long time I so desperately wanted, felt I needed an apology from my ex boyfriend who didn't treat me very well, but I know it will never come. I can't make my whole life depend on what he will or won't do.

I strongly STRONGLY recommend a book that you most definitely should read, it's called "He's Just Not That Into You." It lets you in on all of mens' dirty little secrets, the things they say and do when they are just out for something temporary and they want to use you, keep you around and keep you invested in them until they are bored and done with you. It tells you all the signs to look for and how to move past them and how to demand more and not settle for less than what you want and deserve. It sounds like you desperately need to read this book. Get it today. It's in a humorous style, and a very quick, easy read, but a HUGE eye opener.

By the way, I once made the same mistake you made. "Oh, he's a nice guy, he's church going, he's honest, decent, respectable, etc. he would never lie to me. If he shows or says he really cares, he really must care." I learned that's a huge mistake women make. I don't care how sweet, kind, decent, honest, church going a guy is, EVERY Man, and I mean EVERY man in the world is capable of and will lie to, use and play any woman they really just aren't into. What you need to do is learn how to spot early on when a man isn't investing enough in you, just isn't that into you, and how to cut bait and move on before you invest or watse too much time and emotion.
[QUOTE=Larrylou'smom;3288061] EVERY Man, and I mean EVERY man in the world is capable of and will lie to, use and play any woman they really just aren't into. What you need to do is learn how to spot early on when a man isn't investing enough in you, just isn't that into you, and how to cut bait and move on before you invest or watse too much time and emotion.[/QUOTE]

speaking as a male this is not true....i would not under any circumstances "play" any woman i was not into...I am one of those nice guys...and yes i always finish last....we get walked on, spat on and outright used...i find most women want that "badboy" or are used to the "BadBoy" and when they find men like us, they do not know how to handle us....granted DMA has met a player and someone truly with commitment issues but please don't be bitter towards all of us nice guys because of past experience....if i was going to go through life basing new relationships and sterotyping all women the same i would have stopped getting involved a long time ago

DMA hang in there...you are almost by this keep moving forward....he is not worth it....only you are
[QUOTE=mgneer65;3288088]speaking as a male this is not true....i would not under any circumstances "play" any woman i was not into...I am one of those nice guys...and yes i always finish last....we get walked on, spat on and outright used...i find most women want that "badboy" or are used to the "BadBoy" and when they find men like us, they do not know how to handle us....granted DMA has met a player and someone truly with commitment issues but please don't be bitter towards all of us nice guys because of past experience....if i was going to go through life basing new relationships and sterotyping all women the same i would have stopped getting involved a long time ago

DMA hang in there...you are almost by this keep moving forward....he is not worth it....only you are[/QUOTE]

It's got absolutely nothing at all to do with being bitter. It has to do with knowing what you've lived, and that's all, because how can we possibly know something, really know something, we haven't lived? Like Naomi Judd used to say, be good and go forth as your best self because you never know when you will be the only bible someone will every read. My ex is the only bible on men I ever got to read up close, and he was the kind of man just like you, who claimed he would never, EVER play a woman, he was the nice guy who always got made fun of, that girls just didn't go for, passed up for the "bad boy." But guess what? he played me. He didn't mean to, and if you asked him today, he would flat out deny that he did. He would claim he treated me with nothing but respect. But that simply isn't true. He doesn't know it and would die before admitting it, but he did in fact play me, use me, and jerk me around, big time. That's why I simply don't believe any man alive who says "oh, I would NEVER EVER do that." My ex said the same thing, and probably still says it. But it's a lie.

And it has nothign at all to do with stereotyping. I think there are all kinds of men, with all kinds of levels of stability or dysfunction, ability to commit or commitmentphobia. They all love in a different way. But what I'm saying is, there are certain characteristics particular to men, like hating being in the passenger seat with a woman driving, like needing a night out with the boys, like getting a certain amout of validation from their work, there are certain things men just DO, and one of them, is playing women they decide they just aren't that into. I have yet to meet a man who hasnt' done it, whether intentionally or not. If you've truly never messed a woman over, I would simply say, give it time. This doesn't keep me from dating. I still keep a small smidgen of hope alive that I will find that one guy who will get to know me and see me as "the one who's different than all the rest, the one who deserved to be told the truth like no other woman, deserves my loyalty and honesty like no other woman." etc. Many men are capable of all that, just, NOT with every single woman they go out with. Men simply aren't hardwired that way. But knowing that doesn't keep me from dating. It just keeps me from wasting my precious time on men who just aren't that into me, even though they come on at first like they are, just like this guy came on to the OP, like such a nice guy, not a bad boy at all, not a user, but then look what happens. You gotta be open, but you gotta be smart, too.
[QUOTE=Larrylou'smom;3288116]

And it has nothign at all to do with stereotyping. I think there are all kinds of men, with all kinds of levels of stability or dysfunction, ability to commit or commitmentphobia. They all love in a different way. But what I'm saying is, there are certain characteristics particular to men, like hating being in the passenger seat with a woman driving, like needing a night out with the boys, like getting a certain amout of validation from their work, there are certain things men just DO, and one of them, is playing women they decide they just aren't that into. I have yet to meet a man who hasnt' done it, whether intentionally or not. If you've truly never messed a woman over, I would simply say, give it time. This doesn't keep me from dating. I still keep a small smidgen of hope alive that I will find that one guy who will get to know me and see me as "the one who's different than all the rest, the one who deserved to be told the truth like no other woman, deserves my loyalty and honesty like no other woman." etc. Many men are capable of all that, just, NOT with every single woman they go out with. Men simply aren't hardwired that way. But knowing that doesn't keep me from dating. It just keeps me from wasting my precious time on men who just aren't that into me, even though they come on at first like they are.[/QUOTE]


it has everything to do with stereotyping....you have classified all men in your statement above...we are not all the same and we are not all capable of everything stated above...if these are your thoughts on everyman than dating is going to be difficult...i have had my bad relationships and a bad marriage but i do not classify all women as being the same....be easy on us nice guys and i honestly would never play a woman.....never have and never will.....i am 42 years old and life is too short to waste time on a relationship, friendship or whatever that i am not interested in......Keep your search up...there really are honest, respectful mne out there i i hope that you can me one someday, maybe then you will change your "opinion" of "all men"
hi you guys....

Listen......I really think his intentions were good in the beginning. I think he really did like me. At one point he must have done something where he saw I was upset...He came into the kitchen and said...will I see you again. I really think he liked me. I think that I had an off night. I think he got upset and doesn't know how to deal with that. He hasn't had a real relationship in almost 3 years. Honestly. I never see him with anyone. he spends a lot of time at home...he spends a lot of time with his family. Even when he was with me for 2 months. Honestly. I don't think his intentions were bad...something I did turned him sour...maybe he realized he doessn't want to deal with this stuff..he would rather go about his business, not having to worry about anyone but himself and his family as he did. I am positive he liked me though, really I am. We were friends for a very long time....he told me one day it just clicked that i liked you.

I have to trust. I really have to and I don't want to be bitter or angry. I am trying to be the best person I can be every single day. He knows that. I am sure that he knows that I am decent...one of the nicest decent people he will ever meet. He knows it...part of me thinks that is why he did not put complete closure on it...just in case he wants back in. The other part of me thinks how could you just put someone so decent out of your life or hurt them. He has A LOT and I mean A LOT of family problems...he took that all on....and does well with it. he does have a very full plate but again...if a man really wants to be with you......even with such a full plate, they will move mountains to do so...that's why I think he just didn't want to be with me. He told me he doesn't want anyone to tell him what to do. He wants to call me when he wants to call...he wants to come to see me when he feels he wants to come, not when I tell him to. Not that I recall doing that. In the end when I said wehre do we stand...I need to know...He said I don't know....I don't like these ultimatiums.....if I do call...you may tell me to go fk myself... You told me yesterday that you don't want me to call you, etc. I mean....wouldn't it have just been easier for him to say...look, i like you and my intentions were good, but I realize this can't be? I would have said that for sure. I just let it be where it was. He said...what do you mean...are we going to hang out? you mean and mess around? I mean...he is an idiot if that is what he thinks he may come back for. That will NEVER happen. I'm not the type.

I understand how LarryLou's Mom feels that most men have certain traits that are the same....and they will exhibit that until the ONE comes along. I believe that to a point too. This man carried my bags, helped me with heavy packages, etc. before anything, so I believe his intentions were very good in the beginning.

As for my friend Mgneer........I think you are one in a million....you are the one that most of us wish we had. I won't ever stereotype you with the others....it wouldn't be fair to do that after what you exhibited to me here.

I am not sure what happened with this 2 month friendship/relationship, I may never know...it hurts, it stinks, it makes me lose sleep at night too. Still today I was feeling better...tonight I may be horrible and miserable. My ex is calling and he annoyed me too last night. So I think men will be men and they lack patience in general.....they don't wnat to be told what to do.

At some point........my gut tells me he will (this jerk) come around....because he is lonely, bored or whatever...and try......but it won't happen. He said that I was the best for him....can't climax, etc. but with me he did. I think that says something...or else I am just plain naieve. I think at some point if you are with someone you care about.....that it is better and you are able to reach pleasure more easily than when just with a wam bam thank you mam kind of woman. I believe that.

I think both of you are justified in your beliefs.....there are always exceptions to the rule. Many men think women lie...many men think most women are pigs....I am the exception to that rule.
I think it's a good thing to be open and to trust, dma. It's never a good thing to end up bitter or angry. I strive to not be either, contrary to popular belief. And it's very possible that your guy had all kinds of wonderful intentions at first, and maybe he really truly was into you at first. But something changed. And if he doesn't care enough about you to tell you what and see if it can be worked out, then it's time to move on. A man simply doesn't treat a woman he's really into like he's been treating you, so coldly.

Be trusting. Be the best you that you know how to be. Work on learning a little something every day, and bettering yourself a little bit every day, and stay open-hearted and not bitter or angry. For your NEXT relationship. And also, for your next relationship, be a little bit wiser to see the signs of when a man's interest is waning, and when it has become a waste of your time to invest anymore energy or emotion on him.
He never said he had sexual problems...ever Rose.

I think we all have issues/problems of our own. We all have gone through different types of "ups" and "downs" with different people. No two people are alike at all. Naieve...well, I'll tell you.....it is what it is.......but I like the person I am on the inside, no matter what. and most people like me too. So I'll take me with all my faults any day. I know what I am.

I don't want to be bitter or angry...I don't. I have to try not to be and learn from bad experiences. There are still some very good men out there...maybe they are few and far between....but there are.....I am sure of that. I may never meet one....but right now there are some very lucky women that have them, unfortunatey Rose....it is not you and I.
[QUOTE=dma11663;3288189]He never said he had sexual problems...ever Rose.

I think we all have issues/problems of our own. We all have gone through different types of "ups" and "downs" with different people. No two people are alike at all. Naieve...well, I'll tell you.....it is what it is.......but I like the person I am on the inside, no matter what. and most people like me too. So I'll take me with all my faults any day. I know what I am.

I don't want to be bitter or angry...I don't. I have to try not to be and learn from bad experiences. There are still some very good men out there...maybe they are few and far between....but there are.....I am sure of that. I may never meet one....but right now there are some very lucky women that have them, unfortunatey Rose....it is not you and I.[/QUOTE]

Of course you don't want to be bitter or angry, sweets. I don't think anyone is suggesting that you should be, that's not a good way to go. But here's all we're saying - that it's simply time to let go of all the "why would he, why did he, well would he have if he really didn't, aren't I a nice person, what did I do to, .....etc." All we're saying is it's time to let all that stuff go.

I do a LOT of online dating, I mean a LOT. I've had phone dates, face to face dates, and email communications with dozens and dozens of men over the past few years, and one incident I remember, I had a very nice conversation with a guy who seemed very very into me, was very nice, very complimentary, etc. the next day he told me what a pleasure it ws to talk to me, how he loved my voice, how he enjoyed just sitting there letting my voice roll around in his ear, etc etc etc and he'd love to get together for a face to face. I wrote him back giving him my availability for the next weekend and following week and told him I'd love to go out and please let me know which of these times works best for him. then he totally disappeared for three weeks. No calls, no emails, no nuthin'. Before officially closing the match, I wrote him one last time and said "just wanted to say hi and make sure you didn't fall off the face of the earth!!" He wrote back that he was sorry but he had met someone he felt more of a connection with but if that didn't work out could he call me. I didn't tell him outright, but I figured if he found someone he liked better than me, if it didn't work out for him, it wouldn't make sense for him to come back to me anyway. It would make more sense for him to forge ahead and find someone more like the woman he blew me off for, since he already had me and shined me on, which he never would have done if he thought I was all that great. So I wrote him one last email and said that I understood, thanked him for the phone call, and sincerely wished him luck in all his relationship endeavors, and closed the match and never looked back. See? Has nothing at all to do with bitterness or anger. Just knowing when to not waste my time.

Of course there great guys out there. This guy I just told you about was a great guy. My ex is a great guy. For someone else, that's all. It's about learning to recognize the great guys who are great for someone else.
yes, I see what you are saying. I don't think this guy is great for me by any stretch...but it doesn't mean that he isn't decent. He is my neighbor....and I see him a lot. I was very forward and upfront....very. Still am and will continue to be. If he wants to sneak into a basement...let him. Not my problem. If he can't look at me in the eye...let him...not my problem. If it all makes him uncomfortable...that's his problem too. I will not change me...my outgoing personality or anything about me. It is his problem...and his loss. That is how I feel. He told me he hasn't been open with anyone like this in a long time. He was with someone....many years ago...someone he loved and thought he would marry. He left. I truly think that was his last "real" relationship. He said the relationship went downhill.....sex out the window, etc. He didn't want to go home anymore. I guess he left. If you ask me...he is still crying over it.....that is his problem too. He should let the past go....just like I should. It is hard...for some anyway. I still chalk a lot of it up to immaturity.....if you have to tell someone about women likeing you, or wanting you from 7 years ago......there is a mental problem there. I never did that...that is insecurity...and I do have insecurities for sure but I try not to let them show.

Thank you for your kind words....thank you larrylou's mom......I wish you the best....let's forge forward! :)

Mangeer.......I wish I were lucky enough to meet someone like you......



If
You are overthinking. Time to move on. These things happen. There could be a million reasons why. It doesn't really matter anyway. You are trying to have control over the situation by figuring out what happened to the very last detail. Stop that. You will go nuts (you are getting really obsessive). You can't control everything. sometimes crummy things just happen.
[QUOTE=dma11663;3288363]yes, they do...bad things happen to good people but I do believe that what goes around comes around.

Each day is a gift....that's why they call it the present. Heard that? I am trying to think these types of thoughts. New day...new opportunites.....new horizions right.[/QUOTE]

That quote is from kung fu panda lol, Anyways being a dude of 19 and have slept with over 20 different partners I feel like I can help. Guys like him are what a like to call 'Temporary Partners' which is someone who dont like long term commitments but loves everything a partnership has to offer - Hospitality, Someone to tell things, Someone to cuddle, Someone to Kiss.

He probably made you feel like nothing else mattered the time you were with him, which is how all good relationships start, But there could have been the slightest little thing that stopped it such as an offer from elsewhere, a bit to much of a commitment with you.

I had a fairly similar relationship when I was 16 and my partner was 28, Sex was great for us both, Socially was really good for us both, I made her a carrot cake with a heart for icing and came round with a bottle of vodka to watch a bit of TV with her, we both got along well so I treated her like my princess. Then having not got my head screwed on ended it on the random cause I 'thought' i could get better elsewhere.

The best thing you can do is just get on with your life cause guys like me and him are not going to be bothered by whatever attempts you try to make. If anything you have left his mind completely. Just consider it a fun time while it lasted and realise theres no long term damage.

But if you really want to take some anger out, go let down his tyres on his car or superglue his front door closed or something lol thats always fun.
But someone else could be in a same possition and as all threads are still shown in google, that bit of advice could help someone else :)





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