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[B]THIS IS SUPER LONG... I'm sorry but I have to let it all out if this is worth posting.[/B]

I'm a complete wreck and I need constructive support/advice on this. It might be obvious to you but not to me. :(

I'll give a quick history of myself to make sure anyone who actually reads this can understand it better. I flirt and rarely will find girls I'm willing to ask out or whatever. Hooking up is meh and I only really do that while I'm drunk. I'm in college and a sophmore.

Background of this girl: Used to like my friend and is a tad flirty. She gets really really flirty while drunk. Has had 2-3 emotional breakdowns at parties I've been at. The cause is some long *** story where she lost her virginity to some guy who never called her back when he came to our school. Very pretty, smart, and works at my country club back home (though I completely ignore the people that work there--I wouldn't flirt with the girls).

So... I come here because the whole situation needs to be let out. Basically there is this girl who had been at my friends house a lot (I basically live there on weekends and weeknights). It was only for parties or drinking the usual college house atmosphere. Anyway, she used to like one of my friends and always wanted to keep hooking up with him. He has consistently turned her down and made it clear there is no interest. Another one of my friends who lives there "likes" her and all he does is invite her over to drink (he's shy and just gets flirty with her--she never responds to him). Then I come in... for some reason I thought this girl was cool. I've known her for a few months and 2 weeks ago she came over to the house and there was something between us. She never smokes weed but she wanted to do it with me. I told her that was fine and we smoked. I was quite drunk and tried to offer sincere advice about my friend who she had liked. She made it clear that she didn't like him anymore. We smoked and she got mad/upset and it was kind of weird the rest of the night. I told them both (while drunk) that I had messed up. She said it was cool and hugged me and my friend didn't care at all.

Flash forward to the following Thursday (this past thursday)
She comes over because the friend who "likes" her invites her over. She comes and drinks...this time she's really on to me (she's not drunk). She wants to play beer pong and flippy cup with me. I get the sense of something is there, but don't go very far because of everything going on. Well... she ends up passing out early and wakes up the next morning to my friend and me smoking. She sits there for a while and when he leaves (this is the friend that she used to like) she asks me if I'll smoke with her. I say sure and we do. She comes and sits really close to me and has me light the bowl yada yada. Now I'm really high (I'm sorry I'm not a pot head it's just this is how things played out) and she asks me if I'll go get lunch with her.

We go to lunch and it was great. Good talk and everything was pretty much just natural. She finally gives me her number :p. Then she says she wants to go the puppy store in the mall. Well, my friend calls and asks me to smoke and she's sitting right there. I say no and decide to go the puppy store. Things were fine, I was really tired but it was fine. So I drop her off at her place and we had been talking about hanging out later and she told me to call her after she was done with some stuff.

I call her up that night, and she asks if she can bring her friend and her bf. I say that's fine and we go to my friends place (where both the other 2 guys live, note: the guy who likes her wasn't there and she knew). Anyway, it's just 6 dudes and me and her. We smoke they play some video games, it was a boring night. My friend who is rarely there and doesn't know this girl was also there. He claims this girl showed all signs of really liking me and I agreed (I'm not retarded). Well, we are sitting there and everyone else is gone and this is what she says to me, "[B]I need some action.[/B]" I'm just like what? And she said she hadn't "hooked up" in a while. Now, I'm just like ok what on earth is going on here (once again, high, trying to think). So we wait around for 20 then I ask her if she wants to head back. She says yes. She hasn't drank anything and I take her back but first get her cigarrettes which she never smokes but she said she just wanted one:confused:. So I walk her up and she smokes the square (I don't smoke) and just talk. I didn't know what to say (it was 2 am) and I was just like well what are you trying to do and she said she needed to get sorority **** done for the next morning at 9 am. I ask her if she wants to bring it to my place and she declines.

The whole next day I'm freaking out about what happened, I've never had a girl say [B]I need some action[/B]. The next day I call her up and ask her out to dinner, she says yes and said she wanted to go the following day (Monday). She seemed excited and whatever and had me call her even though I saw her about what time to pick her up.

I get her at 8 we have a good date and it went well. Her food was a tad spicy so I texted her later she says "It was ok and she's a baby about it. Thanks I had fun and don't worry!" Well, I made 2 mistakes on the date. 1. I told her that my friend "liked" her, she acted surprised but there is no way she didn't know. 2. I told her one of my friends didn't want me to ask her out but I did it anyway (She already did not like him).

Well, the next night she's at my friends house when I get back with the guy she used to like. She's already drunk and I'm high. I just watch some T.V. then play beer pong with her friend, even though she asked me to play with her. I end up with her friend, she's teammates with the guy who "likes" her.

I had smoked before we started playing beer pong (yet again :() and I mean 2 mins after (and I did ask her and her friends if they wanted to join us) she says that she wants to smoke with me. I tell her to wait a bit. So we played beer pong I won with her friend. Then beat 2 others.

During the game everytime I shot she was squeezing her boobs and pulling up her costume and showing her *** and stomach off. She was really drunk, I dunno if it was b/c I was playing (I got a feeling it was).

During my second game she gets all over my friend who she used to like. She's ALL OVER him and he's just like get away from me. And she wouldn't leave him alone. Well... he goes upstairs I finish the game. And yet again, her and I smoke. She once again sits right up against me and it's cool. We smoke and she goes starts being her insane self. All over the house on the phone. Talking to her ex and other gf's. What a mess she is at this point. I try to talk to her and she acted like she wanted to hang out and just watch TV but she was too drunk.

She ends up passing out in the room of the guy she used to like. He just ignores her and goes to sleep.

I take her friends home. I told them I liked this girl but didn't get her. They say she's crazy. My friends say she's crazy. I think I'm crazy.

I had texted her the day before and told her I'd bring her out on halloween with one of her friends. I took her home the following morning (after she was a mess) and she tells me to call her for tonight, I say "No, you call me" and end it at that. I was so ****ing sick of the idea of being played and her friends saying she's "Psycho" (yes they used that, not crazy). They thought it was cute I liked her but they said to be careful (they didnt say move on).

Well, I haven't talked to her since then. I don't plan on it. I don't know what to do. This girl showed all signs of really liking me. I double texted her that night before I saw her and she was drunk. I lied and said that I texted the wrong person about lunch, b/c I had talked to my friend who doesn't like her and he said don't pursue her. I was high and listened. I'm sure this isn't that big of a deal but you catch my drift.

So I didn't call her or see her last night on halloween. She never called, I left it to her b/c I was questioning if she even had interest in me. I'll probably see her sometime between now and sat. She would know this, she'll be at the party I'll be at friday. So, should I just chill on it? That's what I was thinking, just letting things play out. And let her show that a second date is worth it.

I'm very sorry this is long. I figure it might as well include the details to make worthwhile.

Also, I don't have to explain the usual signs of her showing interest. But she laughs at everything I say (not everything), we have perfect eye contact, she grabs my arm and stuff in a not a move but a sign of affection way, and on and on.

Thanks and I need SUPPORT and ADVICE... [B]I feel played[/B]
It seems like you (and a lot of guys in general) have a problem with a girl being openly sexual. You never made any kind of move on her, so perhaps now she just looks at you in an asexual way, as just a friend.

She sounds like she's young and crazy and just likes to have her fun, and a lot of guys can't handle a girl like that. I know from personal experience.

The attitude that really bothers me is that she is just an attention seeking tramp who will give in to any guy who pays her the slightest bit of attention. It bothers me because people think the same way about me, and it's not true. Just because I'm open about going after who I want, and not afraid of my sexuality. Although I do agree it's a little pathetic of her to keep going after the guy who makes it clear he doesn't like her. Maybe she just likes a challange.

Anyway - you seem to want a girlfriend, and it sounds like she just wants to have fun. Nothing wrong with that, you just have different desires so maybe you should move on :)

I'm trying to get some advice on what I should do...this isn't a girl problem it's a self-confidence issue for me now.

So after I told her we should be friends because she basically said she wasn't "interested in anyone at the moment", things chilled down a bit (for like a day or two). So, I we went and got lunch and I said I'm done smoking for a bit blah blah. Well, IMMEDIATELY after I say this she is like, "Yea. I haven't smoked in a week and I won't this week". Well, we are leaving lunch and she is just like "Let's smoke tonight, let's smoke tonight!" I just ignore it and don't call her or whatever. Well, the next day she calls me and to see what's up. Well, I call her out for being a "mooch" and kind of get mad at the fact of how naive she is about getting stuff from people. Well, I cool off and chill with her later. Since then we have spent a ton of time together. Like hanging out every night.

Now, at first I thought she would do nothing for me ever but... I called her up and asked her to sober drive me to a party and to come. She said yes, and did it for me (while standing next to me the whole time--i had 3 people ask if she's my gf). Then we hung out 4 or 5 straight nights. On facebook I had a band listed (The Academy Is...) as one of my favorite artists (of a ton). I had never mentioned anything about them. Well, I didn't really want to go see them but another band. I just kinda blew it off and acted like I wasn't sure if I"d go. Well, she pushed it enough and got me to take her, her little sister, her best friend (who I'm now good friends with). She downloads every single song I have playing in my car (which was normal to me until I was on her computer and found songs I had listed on facebook, that she had also dl'ed).

I took my sister to make it less weird. We all had fun and all over this past thanksgiving I hung out or talked to her everyday except thanksgiving. The following week we hung out a few nights and then twice on the weekend. Well...the second time around that weekend I had called her and asked her to come to a party but I needed someone to drive. Well, I'm about to leave and freak out (not actually infront of everyone) but I think I'm getting cock-blocked by my two friends and the guy that now "liked" her. Well.. I was wrong but she didn't end up coming b/c of her friend. I also came across as an *******. Well, after I get back (I was ****ed up) her, her friend, and I decide to leave (I'm in passout mode now). So she's like "Can we pick up my friend." I'm like sure. We get this kid at a frat and he's beligerent. Well, apparently he tried to hook-up with her and **** didn't work out well and didn't happen.

This week I was in her room from 12-7am talking and helping her with a paper. Now... I had got a text the next morning after I had dropped her and that kid off saying "You're not mad at me are you?" I just said I had a bad night. She asks if i want to talk about it. I decline. Her roommate that night said something like we both had bad nights and she was wondering if it was about the same person. I have no clue what this meant because I didn't know what the kid had done (nor do I care, he was drunk). Well... I kind of thought about it and it was a moment where her friend was trying to make an obvious connection between us. Well, we were supposed to hang out the next 2 nights but I came back too late both times.

So this past thursday she calls and had nothing to do so we grab her roommate a coffee and I got some food. We go back and she had me name movies she needs to watch or something (she hasn't seen a lot of good classic comedies and the like). Well, we do and I"m just chillin making fun of her because she laughs at everything I say. Anyway, her friend Liz (who came to the concert with us) hadn't returned her calls so I said well ****... you should probably call her. Turns out Liz and her BF broke up and she was in a terrible state. So we go see her and all that. It was kinda weird but whatever...girls talking about getting over a guy. So anyway...we go to her roommates BF's that night and I was the only high one there so I was just relaxing watching them play beer pong. Well, her friend keeps asking me if I'm ok. I'm like yea... they get me to drink 4 beers and take a shot of tequila so I'm feeling ok now. Well, we smoke and I"m the only one who gets high.

So after we smoke they are like let's play beer pong. Well, I said I'd play and gets off the couch and runs up to me and hugs me. I didn't hug her back (I don't know why I just wasn't thinking and was holding something). Well...that wasn't a good idea. She freaked out and her and her friends and all went to the bathroom. Well she comes out (kinda worked up-sad-pissed) and I ask her what's up. She's like, "you don't like it when i touch you." I'm just like, "What?". So I just say give me a hug and she did.

Later that night when I dropped her off I had her give me a hug again. Soo... at the moment I think we are friends but there is an underlying awkwardness between us. Like we NEVER are physical and quite frankly it's because I don't intiate anything. She'll grab my arm or hit me when I make fun of her. She'll try to hug me or whatever...

Now. I did say we were friend but I have had 3 friends tell me straight up to make a move on this girl. 1 was because he's seen what we are like together and here's these rambling stores (sorry this is long). The other was one of my best friends and it was completely random. The other is because I tell him how things are and he just said to do it. Well, how the **** do I go about making a move on this girl at this point in time? What I've realized is I have pretty much cut off and physical affection from her because I wasn't sure if she was interested in me.

I can call her up anytime and ask her to hang out, chill, eat or whatever and she will do it. I haven't taken her out on a date since the second one but we've chilled enough to make sometimes feel like it. I mean coffee+puppy store+mall shopping+me waiting for her to get a peticure+dinner+more shopping.

Is it possible that she wants to take it slower too? I don't know. My friends I can tell are a little mad at times because of how much time I spend with her.

One of my friends also said, "She may have realized who you are and realized you're worth it." Whatever that means...

She also trusts me quite a bit...if that helps at all.

Now to study for one of my finals... TAI!

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