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Relationship Health Message Board

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I was working at a bar doing a liquor promotion for a modeling agency.. and everyone kept buying me shots.. and its hard for me to say no to free alcohol i guess.... especially at work when you're having fun -- makes it a lot easier because its easier to talk to strangers and be more outgoing..

anyway, we are currently seperated but still together.. (he's living with his parents and I'm living with his brother b/c I moved here to be with him and don't have much of an option or any family / close friends remotely close to where we are living)
we are currently getting to know one another agian because he is a recovering drug addict and a lot of stressful things are going on like foreclosure, unemployment, repossession of vehicles etc -- all the aftermath of his addiction. anyway, bars close at 4;30 am.. and i didn't want to ask for his help because 1. he has no vehicle / liscense 2. it was 4;30 am 3. i didn't want him to worry so i figured i could play it off.. until my car was towed and i really din't have any option but to tell him.. so a group of us (3 girls / 3 guys) went back and hung out and all passed out til i could get my car out of the impound... (reason why i stayed there in another guys bed b/c the couches were full - but the guy knew i had a boyfriend and was really respectful) anyway, i know i would never cheat on him.. but i do put myself i stupid situations and i need to work on that.. but everything is really stressful right now so i guess its been clouding my judgement..
it is a lot deeper of an issue -- and right now i guess my heart is telling me that I love this guy more than anything -- but my head is saying.. you can do better than him and this isn't what i signed up for in the begining and now i have to deal with a 40 day clean recovering addict, live at his parents after owning a beautiful home, his past, bankruptcy etc.. but then when i put myself in a situation it wakes me up and i realize how much i really do care about him and thats why I never pursue anything with anyone else....
complicated? yes! =)

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