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Relationship Health Message Board

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I need everyones opinion on this situation.

Me and my boyfriend have been together 14 months.
He was a drug addict since day one.. and I was a topless dancer...
I accepted he had an issue and we could work through it -- but he expected me to turn into a conservative nun overnight..

anyway 14 months later.. 43 days sober.. both of us unemployed.. foreclosed house.. no finances

I thought I would get a job where I'd enjoy working and make easy money.. so I applied at hooters and a few bars..
I knew he expected me to stop doing this type of work because it makes him feel insecure but I've ignored that and figured if I worked at hooters instead of danced topless then its a different story..

I decided not to work at hooters, however, I have a lot of modeling experience and have done a ton of promotions...
And I got a job working for a liqour company making really good money and well partying all night.. so I took it..

I've worked several promotions before and he's always had a problem with it but I figured he wouldn't mind b/c we are living at seperate places and WE NEED ANY MONEY..

anyway.. most of these gigs are in good taste (breast cancer awareness etc.. but the liqour ones we dress in cleavage showing shits)
my point is..

are these jobs out of control? or is he controlling?
I love him so much -- but im not sure who is correct..
does everyone need to give up the "fun" times and certain jobs in order to be in an adult relationship?

Thank You
love him so much -- but im not sure who is correct..
does everyone need to give up the "fun" times and certain jobs in order to be in an adult relationship?

NO, you don't have to give up the fun times and jobs for relationships! That is why finding the right person is so important. I'm married, have kids, and I still have lots of fun! My husband and I talked about all of this in the beginnign though, and I knew we had the same ideas. I go out to bars, I go dancing with friends, go to Vegas for weekends with the girls, and it's all good. It's not every weekend or anything like that, but we trust each other and we both realize we are individuals.

This is why compatilbility is so important, I have dated guys before who wanted me to give up going out without them, going to bars, going away with friends, and them obviously weren't the right people for me. So I guess what you need to think is " is this guy compatible enough for me" Rember, you can't change him or what he thinks, and you also need to think of what you want. Also, no one shoul dbe telling you what you can or cannot do, he isn't your father and he isn't here to parent you, things should be discussed like equals. Also, if when he met you you were a topless dancer, he can't expect you to just completely change just because you are with him. He knew what you did for a living when he met you. That's what's funny I find, is that people think just by entering into a relationship with someone, we can change them.

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