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Re: Dating.
Nov 19, 2007
[QUOTE=ErimusValidus;3312819][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Hi, [COLOR="Magenta"]AJ[/COLOR] :wave: I'm okay thank you. As usual lately I'm confused as to what's going on in my "love" life but at least it keeps me entertained! [COLOR="Red"]so tell me, what is going on? or if you want other peoples advice, then create a thread. we're here for you, dont forget that.[/COLOR]

My advice on getting over exes is limited by my lack of experience. And your situation is different to mine. You've been in an on/off relationship. [COLOR="red"]because of the on/ off relationship, i am a pro at breaking up. believe me ;) i am sure i could write a book on it by now. the problem is that i am not at that stage of believing it is completly over. and that is the problem! people post here about how to get over my ex. i know how to. i wish i could be in that process. right now, im hurt, angry at how he hasnt messaged me. im hurt and angry at what has happened. im confused as to what is happening and how i should be feeling. i dont know if he is coming back to patch things up. i dnt know if i would want to patch things up. im just very hurt and angry. he is very selfish. i hate him for not sending me a message yet, although i do understand why he wouldnt want to. he doesnt want to exchance possible emotional garbage online whilst he is having the trip of his lifetime. but then, a simple message wouldnt hurt. hes probably sending other friends messages, dont you think? im just so hurt and angry and confused. everyone tells me to move on. but im just not there yet.
if my ex were to come back today and wanted to talk, i wouldnt be able to tell him anything- how i feel apart from being angry. i wouldnt be able to decide if i really wanted him after so much hurt and pain. i dont know. i guess it would depend on how willing he was to work it out, but even then. ive been hurt so much. who is to say it wont happen again? i dont think i can risk it.
i dont know, EV, what do you think>?[/COLOR]

When my ex finished with me I had to tell myself (and everybody who rallied round me) that it was over because I knew that the state of denial I got into after my previous break up was unhealthy.
[COLOR="red"]yeah, tell me about it! its difficult![/COLOR] For you it must be difficult because the two of you have previously broken up and got back together. But in some ways that must make it easier; you should be able to recognise the pitfalls and remember the pain that's gone before.[COLOR="red"]remembering the pitfalls makes it worse- i came this far, and we couldnt even decide what was happening before he left. and it angers me he hasnt sent me any messages. i wont go into that rant again (see above lol). who knows, if i at least dnt get a message for my birthday (and i wonder should i reply or not) then i know how little he cares. thatd be a good sign, right? then maybe i could take that as a sign to move on. because i would like to move on if this is it. you know? i dont want to spend all my time hurting, being confused etc. i have a life.[/COLOR]

The single greatest weapon I had when it came to getting over my ex was remembering how great it was when we first got to know each other. I figured that since my ex didn't want me anymore, I would get to meet a new girl and enjoy everything that goes with that. At first I tried too hard and forced myself to enjoy my dates with Felicity. I'd lie on her sofa at night and wish I was with Natalie and it all felt so wrong. But I know now that I did the right thing to paint on a smile and at least try to have a good time.
[COLOR="red"]Well, there are guys who are interested. Im thinking about dating, but I feel as though my heart isnt in it, probably because I dont know where I am with myself.[/COLOR]

It meant that by the time I met this girl on holiday I could say with honesty that my ex was behind me. I hadn't clung to the hope that she would come back to me; I had just got right back on the horse and did my crying in private (not that much, actually). Had I dwelled on Natalie, I don't think I would have been ready to pursue the girl I met on holiday (one day I'm going to name her! [COLOR="red"]I just want to know what is happening (wish i had a crystal ball) so i could release all this hurt, anger and confusion and move on and be truely happy with my life in peace. im not so fussed about meeting new people, finding new loves...ive got way too much on at the moment. final year at uni, i work weekends, editor of newspaper, dissertation- ive got my hands full. you went to uni, right, EV? you understand the third year is a killer. arggggh i have to start applying for masters too and work experience. ive got a lot on![/COLOR][COLOR="Magenta"]Hayley[/COLOR] knows her name now). I guess what I'm saying is that you need to let go of your ex before you can hope to meet somebody new.[/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]

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