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Relationship Health Message Board


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Yeah, this is mainly for those who still recognize me.

My girlfriend and i have been together for almost 8 months now. I know i really love her, and i know she really loves me. These two things are not to be questioned, she shows me how much she loves me in every way (which i can name off if necessary) and i do my best to do the same.

Much has happened since i last made a thread about how miserable everything in my life is (not just my relationships). Like i said we really ARE in love, i know this for a fact and she does as well. She always mentions the future, and it honors me some of the things she tells me. She kind of convinced me to propose to her, but its not the engagement that you'd normally think of. First off, there was no ring, its just a long promise, no marriage anytime soon (as in 5+ years off, bare minimum), no ring, but just a promise. I do feel confident about this, but i think it was too fast since we're both too young.

I love her, id love to be with her forever. But we have some problems. She is going through a bit of a rough time and i do my best to help her. But since we started dating, she expects me to see her EVERY single day, and i keep telling her that yeah my friends arent really in relationships, but i know that people do not see each other EVERY single day with the exception that they live in the same house/complex. Yesterday my parents pointed it out to me that lately, i have been doing great in school, but i have been slacking off in work, i only see my girlfriend, i dont spend as much time with my parents, and i never see any friends. They just said that as a word of advice, they said they like her and approve of her, but they think its "unhealthy" to see each other every single day, and i agree with them i have always thought this. I brought this up to her attention today and she said all sorts of crap, such as "I dont want a part-time boyfriend". And i kept using the line: "You're making it seem like its either that i have you and nothing else, or i dont have you but i have everything else", and i tell her i want kind of a "middle" in my life, which is a combination of her, my family, my friends, school, work, and my own leisure activities such as videogames. We've seen each other every single day with one exception for about the past 5 or so months.

Dont get me wrong i love seeing her, every day in fact. But its just that we see each other so much that we argue, i tell her that we argue so much because both of us take things forgranted, when we are arguing we both subconsciously have that "Well its okay, we can have a bad day today, ill see him/her tomorrow", which is true, if we didnt go goo-ga crazy and see each other every single day we'd cherish our time together more and do better things rather than argue.

I want to make a list of pros/cons of being with her, but i think thats a bit stupid. The pros will definitely outnumber the cons, but there will be a few key con parts. Im scared of leaving her because i know i am not that desirable and i finally found a person who loves me for me, and im pretty strange. She is gorgeous, very desirable, and overall a great person. If i leave her, i doubt i will ever get anyone like her again, and ill have to settle for someone who isnt as good. On top of that, i lost friends over her, i dont work that much so i dont have any money anymore, and if i leave her i will be miserable because i know i just lost the best i ever got, i dont have too many friends to go back to, and i dont have any money to buy things to keep myself busy such as videogames.

I love her with all my heart, if it werent for her strange "i have to see you every day" mentality, and the arguments, im pretty confident id eventually see us getting engaged for real. But those two things are pretty major. She has huge jealousy problems, she has huge anger problems, which i am by her side working them out with her.

Also, im with her for the person she is today. But the things she tells me of how she used to be makes me sick. If she never changed her ways our relationship wouldnt have lasted more than a few weeks. The fact that she was once like that kind of bothers me, because i love her for who she is now. If she were to ever go back to her old ways, i would leave her and not look back. She told me in depth stories of bad things she did, of things she did with other guys, so on and so forth. That really hurt me, even to this day it bugs me.

Im just so confused. I have such mixed emotions. I love her to death, but there are things that just give me other feelings. I dont know what to do, i wish there were an easy solution. Im not sure if there is anything anybody can respond to this lol, its just my emotions, might not even makes sense, sorry in advance.

But if anyone can give me some comments, advice, suggestions, questions, anything. I really need help.





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