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[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]My ex broke up with me almost 5 weeks ago. I posted previously about what I was feeling and going through and that he is 14 years older than me, is "family" because he's my ex-husband's I've known him for MANY years. We fell very hard and became very close.....but almost everyone on here can relate to that. Also he's a very proud man (are they ALL??), is very stubborn and bullheaded. But, he also has very many good traits too.....I know, they all have good traits.....we all have good and bad.

My problem or concern? I probably shouldn't have, but I sent him a greeting was for [B][U]me[/U][/B] mostly because I was feeling so much anger and other things we feel after breaking off a long-term relationship. (2-1/2 years) It was something I wanted to do to let him know "no hard feelings here". I did NOT expect any response. It just said "Thank You" on the front and was blank on the inside. I wrote to tell him I was thankful I had him in my life for the time I did and of all the things I was thankful to have as memories.

Well, after he got the card, he called me and said it was the most sentimental, lovely and touching note I ever gave him (we sent each other cards and notes at times). He then asked me if we could have lunch together and go sit by the river and talk like we used to do. I said yes. The part I'm concerned about is HOW to take it. He's not a very good communicator if he feels it's "too deep" for him UNLESS we are in an intimate situation.....then he can, does and has opened up. I'm still very much in love with him, but I'm also at the place where I don't "need" him like before.......the hurting heart, the aching inside, the anger's gone.....all that stuff.

We've also talked on the phone a couple of times since he asked me to lunch, we always end up "phone flirting"'s just something we always did.....and he also dropped something off at my door.......a heater he knew I could use. But, I'm thinking it was an "excuse" to see me.....I was home, but did not answer the door. He likes to just "drop by" and I really don't like that....maybe I'm not too hospitable, but I live alone and don't always look my best....if you get my drift. We've also ran into each other at the gym even though I've tried to make it a point to be there when I know he's not.....but I have a Yoga class that I love and didn't want to give that, I'd go, avoid where I knew he'd be, and just go to MY class. But, he saw my car and looked me up. He kissed me in the hall and called me "hon" as if nothing ever happened. That's how he does things.......if you don't talk about something and wait long enough, it will go away.

So......any advice out there? I do want to keep him as a friend (and, at our ages, we could pull that off better) because I still consider him my niece (his daughter) has not talked to me since he and I broke up and I miss her. I know this is a "sticky wicket" and maybe I'm wanting "a fix".....I'm not sure. I've thought LONG and HARD about this and I know I'm going to keep my guard up, not talk about the past (unless it's no hashing up old disagreements) and am going to let HIM take the lead. So.....advice is welcome here. Thanks!! :angel:

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