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I just don't know what to do ... My boyfriend of over 1 1/2 years and I are/were VERY serious -- planning to move in together once I graduate college, he was ready to propose and I was ready to say yes. (fyi we're long distance right now.) We were the 'golden couple.'

The other day he asked me to check something in his e-mail. I saw stuff from a singles website and asked if he had an account. He said no, but I could tell it was a lie. Sure enough, he had THREE accounts on various single websites. He had been emailing a girl from one of them last Dec/Jan. He RECENTLY updated his "seeking for location" from Buffalo to his new town in the Southwest. Needless to say I'm completely torn apart. I have serious trust issues, and this was the first person I gave my trust to; this is the man I gave myself to -- so betrayed doesn't even describe how I feel right now.

I've confronted him about all of this. He didn't deny a thing. He was completely remorseful. He's insistent that he never met up with anyone and that he's never cheated on me. He sobbed and begged for me not to break up with him, at least not yet w/o thinking about it. He also said even tho he doesn't want me end this, he would understand why if I decide to. I told him I need time to think.
He agreed that there's no excuse for what he did. He said it comes from self-confidence issues, that he was just seeing how many girls would contact him. But my reaction was 1) you didn't have to contact her back and 2) why change the location? (Also- he does have lots of self confidence issues.)

He booked plane tickets a long time ago for me to visit him in a few weeks. I want to see him -- but I just don't know if that's a good idea. I want to talk about this with him face to face. But I don't want to be suckered back into a relationship and then be betrayed again. I want to forgive him, but I just can't trust him.
I don't know if I should believe him or not. I want to e-mail the girl (and obviously tell her I hold no hard feelings against her -- in my eyes she's just as much a victim as me).
Do I give him a second chance? I want to so bad. I love him so much. But I'm so hurt. And I don't know if I can build that trust again. And if I do decide to, how do we go about rebuilding that trust?

I've already told him I need some time to think -- and I know he's scared he's going to lose me. A part of me wants to tell me that we should take a break. But is that fair to him? He's 27, has seen the world (literally -- he was a marine), has had lots of girlfriends. I'm 21 years old and was swept off my feat. I've never really known what's out there, and never thought I needed to. But now I'm starting to wonder if I should? If that would help me make up my mind if I want to be with him or not?

I've never experienced anything like this in my life ... I need help. I'm torn apart and just don't know what to do.





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