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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


;)[QUOTE=amy2705;3311298]His ex clearly believes that she still plays a role in his life. She believes that she can call when she wants and that he will immediately call her back ... that's why she called every 30 minutes! She was upset that he wasn't calling her back - so you can only assume that he normally does. It was really insensitive that while out with you, he took her call and proceeded to argue with her for 30-40 minutes. I know you told him to answer it, but that's because she wouldn't stop calling! He could have said "I'm with my gf and I'm NOT talking to you right now" ... but he didn't - he could have been spending the time with you, but instead he chose to argue with her. That indicates that he's still emotionally entangled with her. Their "relationship" might be over - but they are not. They are still obviously involved in some drama. You are caught in the cross-fire. He probably is into you - but he's not done with his ex and she is very clearly not done with him. He is not willing to shut it down completely, which means that he isn't really 100% yours or 100% available. He started things with you before he completely ended things with his ex. Sure, they aren't sleeping together or intimate anymore ... but they are still involved emotionally. MONTHS later they are still exchanging stuff and fighting (which involves talking all the time) ... and then add in the "social" stuff -- as if she cares if he watched a TV show. Clearly, neither of them has let go completely. Otherwise, the drama would be done - she wouldn't be calling, he wouldn't be answering. The old cliche "it takes two to tango" applies here. She might be the one calling,etc but he's not shutting it down ... they are both playing a part that keeps things going.[/QUOTE]

I agree with Amy & here is why: It so sounds like me about 4 months ago! July/August to be exact! I broke it off with my bf of 19 years. Well he would want me to hang out one night and on the weekends sometimes, and talk about "future" plans of vacations etc with the kids. Well this mislead me to think we would work things out, which I wanted. So the next day he would be playing the "other" field and I would call to talk & he would not answer. Well I dealt with this quit a few times and then we spent a whole weekend together and talked and had an awesome weekend together and I didn't talk to him on Monday (giving him time to get rid of whatever "hopefully) well he called me and then said he would call me back, never did. I let it go. So the next night I call him and he ignores me. Well I only live 1 block away and to make a long story short he was with the "other girl (one of the other girls) and I called and went the heck off! I told him I would text all his girls and tell them what he has been doing and of course he thought I did (later story after we get back together). Anyhow he calls me back and she is here (I know because I drive by the house/alley) and he tells me he wanted me back because we had a great weekend and I am always on his mind (told me that from day 2 of break up) and he only wanted to tell this other girl respectfully that he wants me back. But see he kept her here to see what I would do. When I said ok and I would be down so we could talk, that's when he told her. I am not dumb!

I always told him he would do rebounding. He after 2 months could sleep with someone and use someone to replace me, however I was not replacable. He will tell you today that yeah he can enjoy the time away (sexually) but he is miserable without me and his family.

He has done this to 2 girls that I know, when I leave him he does it! I am sure the girls go thru their depression over it and I feel bad, but I don't!

So when that phone rings and he calls etc, he is still showing he cares and he wants it to work. I knew my bf if he didn't answer he was with another woman and it made me call even MORE, because he would call me the night before saying he loves me and misses me.

I hope I made sense of a real situation and recent at that;)





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