It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

[B]I've been seeing this guy for about a month now. I recently got out of a 5 year relationship in which i was not in love with the guy. The guy i'm seeing was in a 1 year relationship in which he did not love her. They have quite a history together. He started going out with this girl in college and he cheated on her one night by kissing another girl. Well, it snowballed into them cheating on each other, having sex with other people. Well, the girl he kept going back to to have sex with was this particular ex. His college girl eventually broke it off with him and he ended up with this last ex. I don't know how long after the college girl left him that he went with this ex.

Anyway. They broke up about 2 1/2 months ago or so. He broke up with her because she loved him deeply and he just didn't love her. Well, we started seeing each other a month ago and he let me know that he recently broke up a with a girl of a year. One night I was sleeping over he got a phone call just as he was getting into bed. He looked at his phone and said, and I freaking quote, "Why the hell is she calling?"

Well, I took a look at his cell phone to see what kind of contact they have. He had called her once or twice in the past couple days before. She had txted him. One of the txts said something like, "I guess it would make you feel uncomfortable" that's all there was on his phone (besides some dirty pictures she had sent him, which he later deleted because he had been showing me some pictures on his phone and came across the dirty ones)

Last friday night she was calling him every half hour and finally I said, "wow, maybe you should pick it up, it sounds urgent." And he did. We were walking out of this apartment on our way to my car so we could go back to my house for the night. He was on the phone with her for 20-30 minutes arguing. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but based on what he was saying she kept telling him that she was coming over. All he kept saying was, "I'm not there, I'm not there" At one point she may have said something about breaking in to his place.

This was friday night. We made our relationship official Monday night of this week. I had still been looking on his phone maybe once a day, once every 2 days. Well, Saturday night he stayed over at my house. My parents came back from vacation and got to meet him. He left at around 2:15pm. I saw on his phone that he had called her at exactly 2:19pm. That got me worried. As soon as he leaves my house, after meeting my parents, he calls her? The psycho from the other night?

The night before last I looked at his phone again. I saw that he had called her a couple minutes after he left work that day. We work together and right before he walks out the door he comes and gives me a kiss. So right after he said bye to me and gave me a kiss, he called her. I also saw that later that same night he received a call from her at 7:30pm. There were 2 txt messages from her on his phone from the past 2 days. The first one said, "did you see nip/tuck last night it made me so damn horny" and the other one was, "did you see south park tonight?" (which he didn't because he was out with me). I looked in the sent messages folder and he had not replied to these messages. A mutual friend at work told me that she was in the office with him yesterday and he made some type of noise while looking at his phone. She already knows what's up so she asked him about it. He told her that it was his ex txting him. She told him that he needs to stop talking to her. His response was not significant, he didn't really respond.

Last night I confronted him about his friendship/relationship with his ex that had changed so rapidly over the course of just a few days. I didn't tell him that I had looked on his phone. He told me that they talk sometimes on the phone, she txts him and he doesn't always txt back or answer the phone every time she calls, and that he hasn't seen her in about 2 weeks which was when she came by to pick up some of her stuff. He told me that she had txted him about nip/tuck and south park (which I was so relieved when I heard that he was honest about the txts, just not about the horny part). He told me that he wants to be with me and he broke up with her for a reason. He told me that he doesn't want her to ruin things with us. He told me that she's moving to a southern state in a month or two. I asked him if he would hang out with her if she asked him to, and he said no.

I really don't know what to think. What bothers me most is 1. he called her RIGHT after he saw me, and 2. the one day he seemed to complain that she was calling and a few days later HE'S calling HER and her txts are friendly. I'm wondering what the hell happened? I just wanted to post this to see what other people thought. I don't know if he genuinely likes me or he's replacing HER with ME? He's constantly asking me to come over and spend time with him, during my dinner breaks and after I get off work in the evenings. He's always asking me to spend the night, just so he can sleep next to me. I've never met a guy who wanted to spend so much time together, which made me wonder if he liked ME, or if he just wanted ANYONE to be with him, like he was lonely or something. I discussed this concern of mine with him and he told me that he's genuinely interested in ME and wants to spend lots of time with ME. It just bothers me sooooo much that he's called her twice now in a matter of 3 days right after seeing me.

What do you guys think this means? Should I run as fast as I can? Should I give the guy a chance?[/B]

ADD: Our mutual friend at work told me that a few days after we started dating, he had a conversation with his ex on the phone right in front of our mutual friend. The ex was telling him that she was going over his house to pick up some stuff and was going to go on the computer to check her mail. He told her that that was fine, only what she was going to see on the computer she wasn't going to like. Apparently since I had sent him some pictures of me (innocent ones, face shots only!) he put on as his desktop/wallpaper on his computer. So I believe that he likes me, I'm just not sure about all this other stuff.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:41 AM.

© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!