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What should I do?
Nov 25, 2007
Hello all:

I've been separated from my husband for several months because of his emotional and verbal abuse. Doctors think he is either bipolar or borderline personality disorder but he refuse to get help. It has been a nightmare living with him and me and our child feel better since we left him. The thing is his harassment hasn't stopped. He calls non stop so I turn off the ringers. He used to do the same thing at my old job, but I have a new job and thank God he doesn't know where that is at. He does have to travel to the area where I live at, and last week he showed up on our door step. I asked our kid if he wanted to see him and he said no. That made it easy for me to tell him to leave. He then called and honestly I shouldn't have answered the phone but I did. Of course same routine where he blames me for everything that he does wrong or everything that goes wrong in his life. When I asked how am I responsible for your life when I don't see you or talk to you, his response was to cry and tell me how bad it hurts him to tell him he's an awful husband and an awful father. Well what did he expect? He lies all the time, cheats, verbally and emotionally abuses me and is a deadbeat dad. Ususally his tears soften me up....but this time I decided to stay strong. Also something Roseq from this board said before is that he is lying, he's a manipulator, and an abuser. Any way he contacts me a few days later and asks me to talk to someone at his work and explain why he needs to move to the city where he and our kid are (a transfer). He told them that the reason he has been messing up at work is because he is under stress from missing us. I refused to do this because he is abusive and he harasses me. I also figure if he's messing up at work its part of one of his mental conditions combined with the fact that he doesn't have me to take his anger out on anymore. After I refused he started screaming at me and once again threatened me. I know that because of his behavior I would be forced to try to relocate if his job transferred him here because it would be unbearable. I like my job and our kid likes it here and we really don't want to move. My question is since his boss wants to talk to me about wanting him to move up here, would it be inappropriate to contact his boss to tell him that transferring him up here would be a bad idea? If so should I just plan to relocate? It was hard staying in this relationship, but I can see he is going to make it even harder for me to get out of it.

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