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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=elnino;3334279]...

Has anyone ever dealt with the situation like this and how did you resolved, if it got resolved at all?

Thanks for your help, I appreciate it.[/QUOTE]

Well, I have been there. I was about the same age as you are now. The woman had two children from a previous marriage and came from a disadvantaged family, just like your girl. It didn't work out for me or should I say for both of us. While we were living in separate houses, my relationship with kids was if not great quite passable. As soon as we moved together, I started to have problems with the boy (about 12) and later with the girl (three years younger). Also, my relationship with her deteriorated, because she had a very bad temper, she was always on her kids' side (never on mine, even when I was right, and she knew I was) and I found that the educational gap between the two of us was much deeper than I had first imagined. Besides, she had suicidal tendencies.

I will spare you the rest of my odyssey, because it was very painful and long until we finally managed to part.

Although I should not predict the future of your relationship, I am afraid that the prognosis is not good. Actually, your mother's opinion seems quite irrelevant to the case in point, although as an aged and experienced person, she probably can see better than you here.
Pendulum: Thanks for your insight on this subject, I appreciate it. It seems as though my situation might be a little easier than your situation. I, myself, do not have too many concerns about her disadvantaged background and the educational gap, because she works for one of the largest insurance companies in the country, holds a steady job and probably makes more than the average family in the United States. Not that this is important to me, in and of itself, but I have never had any problems with her not being able to hold her own in a conversation and she is always a great asset to any gathering. My situation might be also a little easier because she only has one daughter, 50% of the time, and her daughter is exceedingly well behaved. My girlfriend does not have too bad of a temper, although I am somewhat concerned about some of her drinking habits on occasion. In any case, the issue of drinking is one that we can address, separately, and has nothing to do with any of the concerns of my parents, for example.

JulJul22: Whether the statistic that "50% of all marriages end in divorce" is precisely correct or not, it remains the case that many marriages do, in fact, and in a divorce. Whether it is 49%, 47% or 51%, there is some substantial number of marriages that do, in fact, and in a divorce. My girlfriend and I dated for about two years and then moved in together. Anyone who has ever dated someone else can tell you that, usually, things change somewhat when you move in together and new problems arise that had not been there, previously. I do not think that it is wrong of me to make sure that the relationship is everything that all parties want before going forward and getting married. I think that if everyone is not on the same page, it would be a bad idea. In addition, the as you probably know, if any breakups are to happen, it would always be preferable for those breakups to happen during the course of us dating and not after a short, but contentious, marriage.





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