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Hey guys, just wanted to give you an update. Well, my bf and I are still on a break. He is making it really hard for me because he keeps calling and saying he would like to work things out but I have to quit my job if we are. I refuse - I know that is not fair of me - but I dont feel like its the right thing. I have hung with Bob a few times - I do really like him but obviously I am not looking for a relatioship or anything serious right now (trying to keep that casual). The hardest part is being alone at home on the weekends and looking around at all out stuff. ARGH! It makes me want to go back on my decision. I called my Mom and asked her advice (she has been VERY supportive of this whole situation and very understanding - she has been married to my dad for almost 40 years and they still have a very active sex life) she says I am just lonely and thinking too much about it by just sitting at home so I should go out and do some things to make my happy - i agree. I am just terrifeid I have made the wrong choice but she says if there is ANY doubt in my mind, now is the time to explore myself and see what I really want.
The other thing that makes it hard is my bf (well I gues ex-bf) keeps calling our friends and talking to them about it then they call me all worried about me, and I'm like "I am fine, I just need space right now". He says he doesnt even know who I am anymore and I guess he is worried about me. But, I feel like most of the time I've been with him i HAVENT really been myself - I mean I have - but there were things I wanted to do and explore that he really had no interest in. I am more of a right-brained artsy type where as he is a left-brained pilot. I want to go to art museums, he wants to go look at planes. Thats fine, I can get past that, but I do think we have grown apart due to it. Most of the times, especially when we moved, his friends were my friends and it was all plane talk. Finally, I get to GA and I make my own friends who share similar interests. Last time I spoke with him he said he is coming to get all of his stuff this weekend and he does not want me sleeping in the bed or on the couch becuase he purchased both. He said to get my skanky *** out of his bed. But then the next morning he calls to leave a message and say that he will always love me and wishes me the best but that I dont care about him. He goes on about how much his family loved me and how right we are for each other and how he doesnt even know me anymore or understand how someone who loves him so much can hurt him the way I did. I dont even KNOW how to respond to that! I just sent him a text that said I need space, and we cannot keep talking because I can't keep going over what happened and it is making it harder for us. He hasnt called again since that (Fri night) but I am sure he will again. Do I just ignore his phone calls? Its so hard cause he really wants to get back but I just dont feel like its right even though i REALLY miss him and love him. I keep thinking about the past and how much we had been through. We had so much fun. He never ever cheated on me, and treated me very well for the most part. I guess I am just scared. If anyone has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!





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