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It completely depends on the level of friendship. I have several male platonic friends, particularly those whom I've grown up with that feel more like brothers than "guys." We've maintained as much of a relationship as we every had, just hanging out in groups, etc. Most of them are married now also, and none of the wives have any issues.

However, if we are talking about "close" friends, like friends on an intimate level, I will say no. And I will tell you why. My DH and I never dated. We met in college started hanging out alot, and we were both in relationships with other people. He said he would have dumped her for me in a second, and I knew that, but I was HUNG up on my boyfriend soon to be ex. After he dumped me "I care about you so much, this is too much commitment, this level of feeling scares me" I started hanging out with Chris (my DH) every day. I was not, at the time, physically attracted to him. As we became closer and closer, we got to know everything about each other. We still never even kissed, but we knew each other inside out. It got to the point where we were hanging out with each other so much, and we actually just preferred the company of the other over anyone else's. Needless to say, his ex was not happy about this relationship, no matter how platonic it was. As a matter of fact, she said that it was worse that he wasn't sleeping with me, because he'd blow her off to go hang out with me, and that meant he genuinely preferred my company over hers.

I insisted on maintaining my distance, though, and was holding out for the ex, who was still "thinking through" things, who loved me but just needed "time." (Yeah.... right.) Finally my friend, who I posted about, the one who never takes good advice, gave me the best piece of advice of my entire life. She said "You know, I think that women have a tendency to be able to fall in love with men who love them. You obviously have strong feelings for him as a human, so why don't you think about how much he loves you and see if you can begin to feel the same way. Sometimes physical attraction can follow." I thought about that quite a bit. But he just wasn't "my type" and I couldn't bring myself to make a physical move on him. (He, after 3 years, had long since stopped trying) and to tell the truth, the thoughts of it scared the heck out of me. I think I knew deep down that this would be "it" if I gave in to it. Then he graduated and moved back home to Chicago. And I was freakin' miserable. I was even dating this really cute cop that I worked with, but trying to maintain conversation with him was exhausting, where Chris and I could talk for hours. I remember thinking on that date how much I missed talking to him. And he had only been gone 3 weeks. I finally sent him an email telling him how much I realized I really missed him, but stopping short of any promises. That alone was enough to have him arrange plans, drive down to Alabama for Valentine's day, and take me out. That made me realize how much he loved me, because he was in the middle of the post graduate job search, and blew everything off. He lived on couches and worked at Lowe's for 3 months while I hemmed and hawed. The problem was, I was only 21 years old. He was 28 and ready to settle. I didn't know if I was. But I could deny one fact no longer: That I needed him in my life on a consistent, even daily basis, and there was no way to achieve that besides to marry him. I knew if he moved on and got involved with someone else that our level of closeness would no longer be appropriate, and I'd lose a bit of him. So I decided to marry him. Based on the decision that I wanted him as my best friend for the rest of my days. And you know what? It was the best decision of my life. And the physical attraction did follow. We have been married 5 years, and I could not imagine life without him. He is still the same best friend I had all through college, except now we find ourselves in bed quite often, and have procreated a couple of times.

Wow... sorry for that novel. I don't even know if this contributes to this question, but it was my experience and I got carried away reliving it. I'm still amazed as to how it all worked out.





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