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Relationship Health Message Board


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My boyfriend and I have been having trouble lately relating to many differant topics, but mostly it surrounds sex and porn. He knows how I feel about Porn and he has been trying to respect me in not watching it... he choses however to look at Henti ( a cartoon type of pornography), which is ok with me. But on those sites there are links to reguler porn which he sometimes stumbles apon. Well this morning I was snooping through his history ( which I know is wrong and I am trying to stop), and found some opened links to reguler porn. It totally discusted me and I confronted him about it.
He told me it was a mistake and he clicked on the wrong thing and then looked at a video really quick before leaving the site.
I am very sceptical and untrusting of him because he has lyed to me many times in the past about looking at porn. It really bothered me because its something that keeps coming up and he keeps " slipping up"...
After we discussed the issue, and he explained himself once again we were laying down talking, and this is how the discussion went:
Him-"I just wish we could have more sex, thats all, if we did, I wouldnt have to look at porn at all!".
Me-"I think our sex life is good you know, I mean its steady and healthy I think, and thats not a good exuse for me to want to have sex more, just so you dont look at porn"
Him-"Well like mabye sometimes we could have sex like twice or three times a day, or at least once a day most days, you know?"
Me-" I dont know many woman who have time for that much sex, and I think were pretty good, so Im happy"
And then he grinned, and said " I know girls like that..."
Him-" I just sucked that you hurt after we have sex, and youve been bleeding alot, thats all.."
And then he leaned over and whispered, " A bit more sex would be nice thought.."

A little background info on me, Im four years into an eating disorder and currently falling back into bad habits and loosing weight. I know from before, I totally lost my sex drive and Im always exausted, and sometimes I dont feel very attractive. He doesnt understand whats going on with me right now and its hard for me to tell me all of it, especially purtaining to this current problem. But because of my drop in weight Iv been having a period for almost a whole three weeks and I havent wanted to have sex.

This is the first time hes ever made a comment about our lack of sex, and Iv always in way pushed myself to give him more sex even when I dont want to, because I know its something he wants alot of. This conversation and him telling me this really hurt me, and made me feel like Im not enough..
And I also dont know how to explain to him theres much more going on with my body and mind then he knows?

Was he being as insensitive as I think or am I overeacting? And how should I tell him about my whole situation?...Or should I just walk away?

He should of told me these things In a more appropriate manner, at a more appropriate time, not after a fight...he even had the audasity to ask me to come over to his place early before a friend arrived...so we could " take care of business"..

Please help, im so numb at this point, I would greatly appreciate it, I have no one else to ask about this. thanks..:confused:





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