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[QUOTE=mhampton4418;3370010]Hi everyone. Well it's New Years Eve and I am home by myself. I was supposed to go out with a bunch of friends tonight to a bar to celebrate, but I wasn't up to it, so I backed out. I just didn't feel in the mood to drink and party. I wish I did feel like going out, I just couldn't bring myself to get ready and stuff. Things aren't much better since the last time I posted. I constantly think about my ex. At this time last year, my bf and I left on January 1st to go vacation in Florida. I look at where I am now and can't help but feel sorry for myself. I was so happy then, and so unhappy now. One could say that we all make our own happiness, but it's hard to live by that. I know you all probably can't give me much advice besides go see a therapist, but I just had to vent. I wish you all a happy and healthy new year.[/QUOTE]

Hello, happy new year to you too!
I haven't read all of the posts on this thread, but I'd just like to say, I am going through the same as you. I want to lend you some support. I hope I can help.
Things are over between me and my ex. I am still hurt, but I know this is for the best, despite how much time and love I invested into the relationship.
I often get lonely, and it can get very painful indeed, I understand you.
Sometimes I think about what it would be like getting back together with him, that it'd ease the pain etc etc. But then I realise, I just CANNOT go back, ever, because he didnt love me enough, really hurt me, disrespected me and so on. I think to myself- whilst I get REALLY down listening to my girlfriends talk about their boyfriends and their plans, like holidays (gosh, it hurts)- the relationship I had wasnt right and whilst I feel really down now, I will have to go through this and come out better, stronger, and hopefully, happier with a man who loves me. Seriously, being unhappy, alone, and to hurt- I accept I have to go through this until I am over it. And I believe that this will be worth it because I wont feel like this forever.
Getting over someone is TOUGH. We have all been there. There is no time limit- we are all different and need our own time to get over those we have loved. We need to go through it to be able to get over it. Otherwise you will just go back, waste more time, and do yourself more damage. I did that too. It isnt worth it. It killed who I was and I am only beginning to regain that.
My best advice to you, is to, keep VERY busy, exercise loads, FORCE yourself to go out so your not sitting at home alone (I use to force myself out of the house as soon as Id start thinking about him), start planning your summer, believe me, itll cheer you up. The sky is the limit- pick a new hobby. Do something new. Treat yourself.
There are lots of good books on relationship/ dealing with breakups. Search for them online at amazon. The books are filled with great techniques to help you get over breakups- try them out!
Youre not going to get over him overnight. Accept you need to go through this, and give yourself a break. Let yourself grieve. Help yourself.
And def go therapy/ see a counsellor. Ive been on a waiting list for just over a month now to see a counsellor. I am getting over my ex, but every little helps.
Goodluck and do let us know how you do.
[QUOTE=apple_juice;3370535]
Things are over between me and my ex. I am still hurt, but I know this is for the best, despite how much time and love I invested into the relationship.
I often get lonely, and it can get very painful indeed, I understand you.
Sometimes I think about what it would be like getting back together with him, that it'd ease the pain etc etc. But then I realise, I just CANNOT go back, ever, because he didnt love me enough, really hurt me, disrespected me and so on. I think to myself- whilst I get REALLY down listening to my girlfriends talk about their boyfriends and their plans, like holidays (gosh, it hurts)- the relationship I had wasnt right and whilst I feel really down now, I will have to go through this and come out better, stronger, and hopefully, happier with a man who loves me. Seriously, being unhappy, alone, and to hurt- I accept I have to go through this until I am over it. And I believe that this will be worth it because I wont feel like this forever.[/QUOTE]

I like to think that this break up is for the best, because if I didn't try to think that, I would go insane! In my head, the relationship was perfect, but in thinking that, I am really kidding myself. It wasn't perfect, and I didn't get everything that I needed. I loved him though, and sometimes I think that is all that matters. I dismiss the mean things that he said to me and just say "well that doesn't really matter because I was in love with him." He was by no means a "bad" bf, but he sure wasn't the best either. He accepted things in me that are probably difficult for some people, and I appreciated that so much.

I see my ex bf as a victim. His mom left to move to a different state when he was in high school, and I think it hit him really hard. He was never one to talk about his feelings. It was hard for him to talk about the situation with his mom. He acted like it didn't bother him, but I know that it did. I sometimes wonder if he saw me going away to grad school as leaving him...just another woman packing up and going away. He was not very good at communicating, which I am sure had something to do with why the relationship b/w us didn't work out. I thought that could change though. My friends say that even though he was hurt by his mom, he is still responsible for his own actions, which is a very good point. I keep waiting for this to get easier, and it never does. Months ago I would have never thought that I would be in the state that I am. Hopefully I will start feeling better when I start back up with med school in a week. I appreciate the support applejuice!





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