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[QUOTE=mhampton4418;3358081]I also put him on a pedestal. Him inside my head is a lot better than him in real life...yet I can't get myself to feel that. It is as if there is a missing connection between my head and my heart. Of course things weren't all good, but thinking about that doesn't seem to help that much.

Well I appreciate hearing from you guys. If anyone else has any advice/words for me I'd love to hear it! Thanks.[/QUOTE]

Well, I don't know how much practical advice I'd have for you Mhampton; I know phrases like 'time heals all wounds' will be of no use to you now. I will tell you though, that I was engaged for five years and when that relationship ended I sat down on my staircase and cried for about two hours solid, I really got into it, lol, wailing and bawling for the depth of the love that we'd lost. I had been [I][B]crazy[/B][/I] about that man, but his alcoholism had gotten the better of us, just like I should have known it would.

In fairness, my situation was easier to deal with than yours because it was my decision to sever the relationship. He hounded me so bad I had to get a new mobile phone number and move out of my apartment! :dizzy: That was years ago and I still feel bad for the hurt he went though; the thing was, I had done all my hurting while I was [I]IN[/I] the relationship, and by the time I was done with him there was very little hurting left to do, so yes, it was easier for me than for you, I'll admit that.

One piece of advice I will give you; go for that counselling. Do anything it takes to help yourself move on, because the last thing you want is to carry the ghost of that relationship around with you like a dead weight for decades. A couple of women on these boards have shared similar experiences that ran on for many many years, and no offence intended to them, but that sounds like a very emotionally damaging place to be in your heart and mind to me, so you need to be doing whatever it takes to avoid that, counselling or whatever else.

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