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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Here is my background. I have been in a relationship with a man for about five years. He broke up with me about a year ago....however we have still been seeing each other on and off. Long story short I was going through so much pain and didn't have any support (including self support) that I tried to take my own life. I consider myself a pretty reasonable person...I am about to graduate with a biology/psychology degree and then off to grad school. However I have been in A LOT of pain over this relationship. He is eleven years older than me, but he plays games with me all the time. I do not fault him for this, only myself. If I would put my foot down and back away I would save myself so much pain. I have turned to my family for support however that was a no go. Then I started seeing a clinical psychologist but stopped a couple of months ago. Anyways I so stressed out with no one to talk to and it is not a good feeling. I wish I had a switch inside my body to turn off the desire for someone who doesn't desire the same thing....

The worse part about it is tomorrow is x-mas and he is spending it with his ex and I am spending it by myself (literally). It is not that I want material gifts, just THE ONE to cuddle with in the mornings. Or better yet i want to be healed from my pain. I want to love myself fully again, and one day love someone else. I want to stop looking for his phone calls and instant messages...I want to stop dwelling on the past and look toward the future...anyways thanks for reading. I would love to hear your thoughts.

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