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Relationship Health Message Board


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I think most women's problem with porn is that they're insecure and they think that you're more attracted to the women in the movie than to her, or that the actress is your ideal woman. Even if we know it's silly, sometimes our insecurities over-power how rationality.

The "drop it" thing is bad. As you said, if it's dropped how does it get resolved? It doesn't.. and it stores itself in the back of the mind, festers there, grows maybe and comes out somewhere down the road during another/bigger argument. Sometimes people need some time to calm down before they talk about something that bothers them.. this saves them from exploding and making things even worse. Next time she says it tell her that you'll drop it for now, but that you want to discuss it later on.

As far as watching porn or anything related around her.. I think you need to meet her half way there. Watch it on your our and don't tell her about it. I don't mean lie about watching it.. I mean if she asks you what you did tonight don't say "Well Honey, I masturbated to some hot porn! What'd you do tonight?" Some girls have no problem with porn or using it to spice up things in the bedroom.. some girls aren't into that. Sounds like you're girlfriend isn't.. so don't expect her to be. Who knows, down the road maybe she'll be more open-minded.

Her jealousy issue is going to be something that only she can get over. Having gone through similar bad relationship experiences, I'm sure you can understand a lot of how she feels. So be patient with her. Some people overcome jealousy the longer they're in a relationship, the more secure they start to feel with that person. Other people may never get over it, but learn how to manage it; they'll start realizing when they're being irrationally and learn how to talk themselves down from flipping out or jumping to conclusions.

Your girlfriend can't expect you to totally give up something you like; some men will and some women expect or demand them to. But you can't expect her to suddenly be ok with it either. You need to communicate and compromise... otherwise the question of compatibility comes into play.

Good luck to you. I hope something in this long post was helpful!
Yes, both female and male bodies are really beautiful. I understand that.

But you didn't really answer my question though. What if your girlfriend started posing nude and was the one in those lewd pictures that so many guys salivate over and then just forget about? What if your girlfriend was doing porn and therefore had many random men masturbating to her? Would that be okay with you? Honestly? Would that not make you a little sick? Could you have a relationship with her knowing that strange men all over the country, the world, were seeing her completely naked and masterbating to her? If that would bother you, then it is the same thing as her being bothered by you looking at other naked women.

Porn hurts women. It really, really does. And men do not and cannot realize the depths of it. Anytime a woman complains about it she is just written off as insecure and jealous. It's so sad :(





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