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[QUOTE]It has just become so commonplace in my life that it doesn\'t really mean anything to me, its just like anything else. [/QUOTE]

And that right there is your problem.

Our bodies are beautiful things. Special things. Precious things. And here you are, just casually looking at all of these naked women, and it means nothing to you. Women are just objects. Things to be oogled, oohed and aahed over, and then just forgotten about.

Yeah, that's the problem.

And I'm not some bitter woman who has a boyfriend who looks at porn. For much of my life, I've WORKED in the sex industry. I used to never think there was a problem with porn. I've watched it myself since I was a teen. I have my own stash.

But there is no denying to myself anymore that between my job and the various kinds of porn I've viewed, that it has done something to my soul...scarred it. Women don't really want to be seen as just a bunch of orifices. We want to be loved. Adored. Cherished.

The way that sex, and women's sexuality have been exploited is really unfortunate. I'm not even arguing from your girlfriend's perspective, I'm arguing from the perspective of one of those sex objects. Every time I met a guy I really liked and I told him what I did, he instantly stopped respected me and told me he couldn't be comfortable, even though I naively never had a problem with what I did. I thought I was something special. But men don't respect women they see as just sex "objects." They don't. But they have no problem masturbating to them.

Honestly, would you want your girlfriend posing nude or making a porno? Would you want your girlfriend to be the girl in one of those lewd emails you receive, oogle, and then just delete? I am willing to be your answer is no. You don't have respect for women if you can view them like that, and that is the problem your girlfriend has. If you see other women as just nameless, faceless sex objects, then your girlfriend probably worries that is how you see her too.
Coing in late on this, and I'm pressed for time now so I only read the original post and didn't read any of the responses, so forgive me if I repeat some advice.

But I don't think she walked away from the "argument." She simply told you how she felt. She said she feels it's degrading to women, insulting, and when you look at it in her presence, it makes her feel unwanted and disrespected. Period. No reason to discuss it any further, that's how she feels and she's not going to change. to tell you the truth, that's how I feel about porn too. I wouldn't feel comfortable dating a man who used the soft stuff like the magazine you mentioned, and no way would I even go out with a man who would use the hard stuff. But if he used it in my presence, I wouldn't tolerate it.

It's apparently a non negotiable for her. I think it comes down to compatibility. You guys have different, incompatible world views and values on this subject. She's made her position quite clear. Therefor you have a choice to make. You either love her and care for her and respect her feelings enough to keep it out of her face and out of her sight, or you leave her and find a girlfriend who doesn't mind you looking at girly magazines in front of her. It's really pretty much that simple. You could say "well, if she respected me, she would let me read them and use it in front of her without getting all upset." Well, I suppose that's one way to look at it, but you'll never convince her of that. It's not just something she doesn't enjoy, it's something she feels very strongly is wrong. So for her to compromise isn't giving you something you like or want, it's compromising her values and who she is as a person, and if you really loved her you wouldn't ask her to do that so that you could indulge in something she views as disrespectful, base and wrong. She won't see it the same as "well, if she loved me she wouldn't get so upset." I think to her, that's like saying "well if she loved me she wouldn't mind standing by and watching me shoot heroin." To her it's wrong, destructive, disrespectful and wrong. At least she is willing to be with you even though she knows you have this habit that she thinks is so repugnant and wrong. She's not forcing you to stop altogether, just to not do it in her presence. You either respect he wishes or you don't, that's all.





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