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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi guys-
My boyfriend and I (we're both 24) have been together for over 2 years, living together for over a year. It has become apparent to me that we are growing apart and no longer share the same goals/values/interests, etc. I think I want to break up with him. The problem is that I don't have very many friends, and none of the friends I do have would be able to share an apartment with me right now, but I can't afford my own place. I could possibly move in with my parents for a while, but that would be hard for various reasons.

I'm just wondering if any of you have ever gone through the same thing? Any suggestions? This is a really scary place to be in. Not only would I be losing a very important person in my life, but I would be going through a total upheaval in my living situation.
Would moving back in with your parents be harder than staying with a man you no longer love and playing a part to him and cheating him and yourself out of getting on with life and finding love for real because you can't afford to do anything else? Personally, I'd rather lean on my parents than some guy I didn't really want to be with anymore, but perhaps your situation is more difficult and complicated. Only you can make that decision.

You could always look in the rentals in the paper to see if someone is looking for a roommate. I certainly understand your hesitation at living with a stranger. It can be scary out there, but if you're careful and smart about it, it could be a positive step in maturing and gaining more independence.

But I just don't think financial insecurity is a good enough reason to stay in a loveless relationship that's dead. I personally think you'd be better off taking a second job, finding a roommate, even going back to mom and dad and in the long run learning how to stand on your own two feet. It is a good feeling when finally stand on your own and know that you don't HAVE to live with or depend on anyone, and you can be with whom you want, how you want, when you want.
I was married with a three year old daughter and had to move back in with my parents when I filed for divorce because I couldn't afford an apartment for us. Sometimes we do what we have to do to get out of a bad or miserable situation. I'm sure your situation was nothing like mine, but I knew living with my parents was a much better situation then living with my ex.

A lot of people stay in bad relationships due to finances and that is just a bad idea. So you go live with your parents for a few months? Big deal! It will give you an opportunity to save some money and work out a livable budget to stick with so that when you are able to move you will know exactly what you can afford and hopefully won't spread yourself too thin.

Oh, and if your worried about being 24 and living with your parents, don't be. I know many people (including myself) who were even older than that when they had to move back home for financial reasons.
If you haven't already then I think you should try talking to him about what you're feeling before you make the decision to break up and move out. Who knows.. maybe it can be reconciled. Sometimes relationships fall into a rut, and feel too routine, boring, like you're growing apart ect...

If he agrees that it's time to go your seprate ways, then together you can start figuring out what to do with the living arrangment.

If things do go in a way where you are looking for a place to live, I'm sure your parents would be there to help you out. That's a better place to go then trying to scrape by on your own. Stay at home until you can save enough money to find an affordable place on your own.

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