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Hi italianbeauty -

Well, this is kind of a sticky wicket, but no, actually I don't think he's BSing you, I just don't think you're listening to what he's really saying. I think men and women have different ways of ommunicating and things have idfferent meanings for both. when you say "we'll take it slow and see what happens" you mean I'll date you, you'll date me, we'll focus on each other and see what grows. He means, I'll see you when it amuses me, and I'm free to see, sleep with and hang around other women because we're not officially boyfriend/girlfriend, we're just "taking it slow and seeing what happens."

this guy sounds like a major player to me. He's leading you and two other women on, and thinks he's not doing anything unethical because he hasn't declared "you're my girl and I'm not seeing anyone else." My guess is he's telling you "Oh, we're just friends" because that's exactly what he tells them about you. He's seeing you the same way he's seeing them. I think sometimes women tell themselves "well, I know he's got other women in his life, but I know I'm more important to him than they are, and it won't be long before I'm the only woman in his life. He means what he says to me, he doesn't mean it when he says it to [I]them.[/I] What women have a hard time realizing is that if she really were that much more special than those other women, he'd get RID of those other women BEFORE he moved forward with you because he wouldn't ask a woman of quality to compete. A woman of quality doesn't compete, because she doesn't have to. Also, beware of men who say "Oh, she's taking it too seriously, I don't know why, she's a little psycho but a nice girl and I dont' want to hurt her." That's got player written all over it. That's what a guy says about other women when he's playing them and trying to cover his butt.

I'd suggest seeing this guy as long as he amuses you, but don't intend on developing any real feelings for him, and don't hold out any long term hopes for him. If he really saw you as possible long term material, he would have kicked these other girls to the curb. A man doesn't ask a woman he thinks is a woman of real quality if she's ok with him being incommunicado while he entertains another woman, because he already knows that's a crappy thing to ask of a woman. But he asked it of you because he's not afraid of you saying "forget you, see ya," he's not afraid to lose you. If he saw you as real long term material, he would be.

Oh, and p.s. just to clarify, I certainly did not mean to imply that YOU were not a woman of quality, I'm sure you are. But the only person who really gets to decide whether you're a woman of quality is you. If he can't see what you're worth, that's his loss. There's no law that says you HAVE to settle for the scraps he's willing to give you when it seems pretty clear that's all you'll get from him. If that's all you want for now until you get bored and move on, then fine, hey you're only young once, but if you want more, dump him and go get more from a man of better quality.

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