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Relationship Health Message Board

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I posted here a month or so ago about my wanting to divorce my husband of ten years who has serious problems with drinking. Anyway, I filed for divorce last month, he was served with papers, and now the 20 days he had to respond are up. So now, I have to go to the courthouse and file some more papers in order to get a hearing for the divorce to be finalized.

Well. I don't know if I was in denial or what, but a month ago I felt confident that I was making the right choice, Now, I keep doubting myself. It doesn't help that we are still living in the same house and he has been exceptionally nice over the past few weeks. Right after I filed, I basically seperated myself from him (didn't talk to him, moved into the spare room, etc). However, in the past few weeks, I find myself going to him for comfort and talking to him like we are still a couple and this is making me crazy. I know one of us needs to move out, but financially it is so difficult.

So my question for those of you out there who have been through a divorce is this--is it normal to experience these periods of guilt, regret, and uncertainty? I just feel like I am such a horrible person for doing this and the depression and anxiety are unbelievable! I never thought I could feel such pain and anguish. My husband goes back and forth with his emotions too. One day he's crying and saying that he doesn't want a divorce and the next he's mad and saying that he hates me. I am afraid that I am not strong enough to handle this anxiety and I am just going to go back with him out of fear of being on my own.

Thanks for listening everyone and I appreciate any insight any of you can give me who have been in this situation.

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