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You just need to get over it. For you to get mad at her for stuff she did before she even knew that you existed is totally unfair! I think you're just jealous that she has more experience than you do, and that's what's bothering you more than anything. You really just need to get over it. That's all that there is to it. At 26, she's bound to have had "a past". If that's not what you want, then find yourself a virgin or something?
The way I see it is that she is WITH you. My husband is friends with an ex that he slept with. She is the Godmother of our baby. Some people can maintain frienships with their exes and others can't.

You've been with her for 6 months. Have you met these guys? Does she give you any reason (other than her past, of course) to be jealous? Does she hang all over them? Are these friends respectful of your relationship with her?

If they are not in any way a threat to your relationship then you should let it go. However, if she or they act innappropriately towards eachother or disrespectfully towards you then perhaps you could voice your concern. Just be careful "forbidding" her from being their friend or having her choose, you may not like her choice under those circumstances.

Bottom line, talk to her. Not about her past, but your feelings about her still being friends with the guys. See how she feels. If there is nothing to be jealous of perhaps you could try to forge a friendship with them. You may be surprised.
[QUOTE=GypsyArcher;3376285]I'm able to hang out with men I have slept with in the past without having any kind of sexual feelings for them. However I would never TELL my boyfriend (assuming I really cared about him) who I had slept with in the past, especially if I was still hanging out with those people.

And heck no, you shouldn't be expected to hang out with guys you know your girlfriend once slept with and be happy about it. It's one thing if she wants to go, but expecting you to is kind of ludicrous.[/QUOTE]

And what if he found out? That might be a source of trouble, no? If you had been hanging out with these people all along and somewhere down the line that comes out? Of course, you've given no reason for your partner to be jealous, but you still might see how they might be upset, right?
[QUOTE=happymom28;3376292]The way I see it is that she is WITH you. My husband is friends with an ex that he slept with. She is the Godmother of our baby. Some people can maintain frienships with their exes and others can't.

You've been with her for 6 months. Have you met these guys? Does she give you any reason (other than her past, of course) to be jealous? Does she hang all over them? Are these friends respectful of your relationship with her?

If they are not in any way a threat to your relationship then you should let it go. However, if she or they act innappropriately towards eachother or disrespectfully towards you then perhaps you could voice your concern. Just be careful "forbidding" her from being their friend or having her choose, you may not like her choice under those circumstances.

Bottom line, talk to her. Not about her past, but your feelings about her still being friends with the guys. See how she feels. If there is nothing to be jealous of perhaps you could try to forge a friendship with them. You may be surprised.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like you are very secure in yourself and your relationship. At the end of the day, this boils down to my own hangups. I just don't know how to get over them. She's great. I love her. But when people say don't worry about it, forget it --- that just doesnt resonate with me.
I wouldn't flat out tell her that you're bothered.. but if she does ask you why the sudden change in behavior.. then be honest about your feelings. It may sting, but the truth isn't always painless, right? And it would be worse for you both in the long run if you bottle this up. If you do tell her, try to word it as least judgemental as possible.

I do believe that this is an issue with you, not her... as you probably already know. In a way you've judged her (her decisions at least) even if you didn't wan't to. You disrespect "that girl" who can have a one night stand. And I don't blame you.. sometimes its viewed as careless fun, other times its viewed as s***y. You thought she had different standards or more respect for herself not to have been one of "those girls."

You have to remember that everyone makes bad choices, mistakes, experiments... whatever. You've made your share, I'm sure. Also, a person at 15, 17, 21.. are different than at 25, 30, 45. Would you make some of the same choices now that you did when you were 18?? Probably not.

Unless she has given you a reason to not trust her, then why are you threatened by her male friends, just because she's been intimate with them? We cannot control our emotions, so you can't help that you're jealous, insecure or threated by her phyiscal relationship with these guys. Being a girl myself who is friends with guys i've kissed, or been more physical with.. I can tell you that you have no reason to worry. Do you think that she compares you to these guys? Do you compare her to girls you've been with? Do you think these guys think they still have a chance with her? Have you ever had a one night stand?

If you're secure with yourself, the relationship and if you trust her then any other guy in the room, whether she's slept with them or not, shouldn't both you. She's with you. My boyfriend's been around guys he knows I've dated and am still friends with.. just as I've been around girls I know he was physical with in the past. Am I bothered? Not anymore. The first few months of the relationship I was.. when I was still unsure of how we felt of eachother and where the relationship was going. But eventually I realized that I was being silly, jealous and insecure. We've been together almost 2 years now and those past girlfriends are no longer any kind of issue. I got over my hang ups.

Really this is something that you are either going to have to come to terms with and get over.. or it will eat you up and you'll have to leave her. She is the same girl that you started dating. She was honest about some choices that she made years ago. People grow up and learn from their mistakes. You don't have to like those things, but they shouldn't be more important than your feelings for her.





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