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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi everyone,

Let me start off with the fact that I love my husband with all of my heart. He is a wonderful husband, a great father, and the best friend I've ever had. So, what's the problem? Read on...

Okay, here it goes. I met this guy "John" 11 years ago (I was 19 at the time and he was 23). As time went on we started getting closer and ended up dating for a while. I fell for him hard, but in reality I was a rebound girl because he still wasn't over his ex who ended getting engaged to another guy right before we broke up. I was devastated! It took me a while to get over him. I thought for the longest time he was the one. We drifted apart for a few years, and then he called me New Years Eve 8 years ago. He said he missed my friendship and we started hanging out again. Shortly after that I met my exhusband and I lost touch with him and all my other guy friends.

So fast forward to 4 years ago and I was just starting the process of divorcing my exhusband. I was out with the girls and there "John" was. We talked the whole night and it was just like it use to be. We started dating again and things were great. He told me how much he regretted letting me go in the past. Well, then I got scared. I was going through my divorce and I thought it was all too much. So we broke up. We still remain friends to this day. Shortly after our breakup I met my husband and the rest is history. My husband was admittedly a little put off by my friendship with him, but was understanding since is friends with an ex of his.

So the point of my story, I found out today that "John" got engaged. I KNOW it shouldn't bug me but it does! I mean, I am happy for him because he is super sweet and deserves to be happy. But at the same time, I don't know. Something just is bugging me! Why? I feel like such a horrible person for feeling this way. It's not that I still like him that way because I don't. It's not that I don't like his fiance because I've never even met her (I haven't actually seen him in over a year, right around the time they started dating). So many of my exes have moved on, gotten married and have had babies so why is this bothering me?

Please don't blast me because I know I shouldn't feel this way. I already feel like scum for even thinking about it this much. Like I said, I love my husband with all my heart. But this has been eating at me ever since I found out. Anybody else ever feel like this?

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