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[QUOTE=Elliot Carver;3377327]I really don't know what to do anymore. D and i talked about my problems and she suggested i get help. I know this sounds selfish but I want girls to notice me, i want to be attractive, i want to be good in the bedroom. I want to be able to have a girlfriend ... I have no idea how to ... what do i do?[/QUOTE]

I think before you can have any of that you need to face the demons in your past. That is something you have never done, and believe me, they will follow you around and keep you from being happy until you do.

It's pretty obvious that your parents (well, at least your dad) filled your head with a lot of things. You need to seek a good therapist that you can talk to so you can get all of this out in the open and he/she can help you to work past it. Until you are able to do this I think you will continue down this path you are on.

I want to wish you luck! It won't be easy, but it will be the best thing for you to do.
I agree with Happymom that facing up to your past is the best place to start. You cant even think of having a successflu relationship if you're struggeling with personal issues. I've said this in many posts.. you can't be happy with someone until you're happy single. You can't rely on another person to make you whole.

If possible, I'd comfront your parents and explain to them how, even if they thought they were protecting you from the possible dangers of sex, how the seclusion has left you damaged. If you can't talk to them, then maybe you can talk to a professional.

As for "not working in the bedroom" I think it's safe to assume that your problem is mental.. you're thinking too much about sex, about the girl, about wanting a girlfriend, ect. You're putting too much pressure on yourself during the moment, thinking of what -ifs, instead of going with the flow of the moment.

I've said this also in other posts, but if you wake up each day thinking that you need a girlfriend to make your life better, and you look at any female as a potentional girlfriend, then you're putting an extreme amount of pressure on yourself. People put this stigma on singlehood, as if its the plague.. and that's when they get involved in relationships that are unhealthy, they end up settling, cheating, but being unhappy in that relationship... like how you stayed with your girlfriend even though she wanted to slee with othter people. You did that b/c you didn't want her to dump you.. but I bet that hurt tremendously to know she was sleeping with other men.

Live your life for you. Go to work, enjoy being successful with what you do, have fun with your friends. If you're shy in general then work on being more social with your friend's friends.

I'm glad that your working on your internet addiction. You don't want to spend your life hidden behind a computer screen, a slave to naughty pictures right?? You're never meet anyone that way.. not friends or a girlfriend.

I believe that a relationship isn't something you can find. One finds you. A relationship/girlfriend comes into your life when the timing is right. So right now focus on getting your head straight, of fighting the demons from your past either by talking to your parents or to a therapist.

Good luck to you.





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