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Relationship Health Message Board

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Thanks for all your support. I usually think I am okay until I someone like my mother making fun of me still being single at my age. (by my age she had been married for 7 years and had three kids).
The thing is, I used to be a full time nanny, and now I do it part time, and watching family lives and thinking that could be me scares me - I am not a suburbian type of person and backyards and swingsets are not inspiring to me.
My parents wanted to make sure their kids never had to be dependent upon a spouse so my brother, sister and I were all encouraged to take school and our professional interests as #1.
Sometimes I think I took that mentality too much to heart though and wonder if I have sacrificed relationships for my career (I have a good day-time career and have yet never been out of school). My best friend thinks I hide behind my schooling and career b/c I'm scared to be in a relationship, but I never want to be in the position that I will look back one day and wished I had taken a career opportunity but didn't b/c of a guy (when most relationships end one day anyway). I guess sometimes I feel like I don't have balance. For example, for the last year, I have been in school part-time, have had a full-time and part-time job, and volunteered 30hrs/week. And yet if someone told me I had to put that much time (or even a quarter of it) in a relationship I would run screaming the other way. I have quit volunteering so now I do have a bit more time to date though. I guess with all I do and everybody who is professionally dependent on me (not to mention family obligations), I don't want to feel like a guy is too; thats probably why I like to date - its casual, its not too demanding...but once the guys start to need me, I feel like I'm pulled in too many directions.
I tell my best friend that no guy that I have dated has made me want to change my lifestyle for them, but she thinks I LOOK for something wrong with every guy I date.

I guess thats my issue - I don't know if I really am happy, or if I just convincing myself I am. I am pretty sure I am happy, loneliness is hardly a quality I feel and wouldn't that be needed to know if I am unhappy? I suppose thats my question - how can I tell the difference?

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