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[QUOTE=rosequartz;3396106]oh Xanadu, I love to read your posts because I really really like your attitude. I like your attitude and I like your spirit. You are much too smart of a lady to let these small minded people get you down.

Thanks so much, folks! :angel: I knew you would be supportive, but someone making a comment like the one above is just what I needed to hear today. Thanks again! :angel:

Some further thoughts about this ‘friend.’

I vented a little more on the computer, and post things a bit at a time. Tomorrow I'll work on dealing with the problem! I have a feeling she's going to miss me more than I will miss her!

Guess how I began my explanation to her? Some months ago I gave her a painting I did of a kingfisher, which she loves. I discovered my ability to paint birds from life as a result of trekking in Nepal, where, incidentally, this species of kingfisher is so tame it sits posing for you! (In Britain the same species is incredibly shy.) I explained politely that no trips to Nepal would inevitably have meant [B]no[/B] kingfisher painting! Point not taken!

Anyone who has already read my posts about being single knows that I have a deep love affair with the surrounding hills. In spite of the state of my knees and the conduct of He of a Big Debt and Two Girlfriends, my 60th birthday began what is probably, overall, the happiest time of my life. Some very bad stuff happened before I was 60, and what is my overall impression now? Without dwelling in bitterness, I rejoice that my present life is so much better! Such a contrast definitely makes a happy life all the sweeter!

My friend’s view: ‘You live too much in the past! Focus only on the present and future!’ Huh? Is that really what I said in the previous paragraph?

Of course it’s not all bad, or she would have been out of my life long ago. I’ve gone from imagining this to be an equal friendship, to thinking I could stay out of trouble and reap the benefits of friendship if I never mention a single problem, to being taken aback when the rudeness hits me out of the blue because she had a problem with me making a chance remark (which other people found perfectly OK).about my life. I even cracked a joke against myself, which made other people laugh, but she rudely didn’t want to hear!

I try not to repeat myself, but it happens sometimes and I am picked up on it sharply. Last week this made me count how many times she started up about a mutual friend who forgot to thank her for a favour. Did she grumble six times or was it seven? You get the idea! Next time I’ll stop her. Just say: ‘Stop!’

She’s got loads more money than me, yet I never felt she was boasting. Actually it wouldn’t work on me. I figured out ages ago that if you could have someone else’s good fortune you would have to live with their problems as well, and your own may well be more bearable. And oh, do I hear about her problems! All of ‘em!!!!

You mentioned getting out on the motorbike in the hills! Trouble is, she and I both belong to the same group of people who meet on a regular basis. Much as I would sooner have you all for company, talking to you involves sitting at the dreaded computer with its tantrums, while she is in my physical space when I go out to enjoy the beautiful hills in company. I really am an outdoor person, not a computer addict, even in winter. That’s a large part of the problem!

More tomorrow about that I'm going to do to beat the problem, including some reflections on my ex. Thanks again. You are great! :angel: :angel: :angel:

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