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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi CKL, It's no problem. I feel it helps to know that someone else can relate to a situation you (or I) are going through...I didn't mind the questions at all and still don't :)

Hi Stenolady1, I can't argue the fact that I have exerted a lot of mental energy thinking about my ex. As you pointed out, my threads have made that clear but I dedicate my time, my energy and my life to my marriage and my family every single day. I tend to their needs as most moms and wives do. The threads I have posted are basically my one outlet to "release" a lot of the thoughts and questions that have in my head about someone that I once loved more then myself and who I can't talk about with anyone else in my life.

Hi Hoopty- Yes, it would seem that my marriage would be doomed if all I did was think about my ex constantly, but the truth of the matter is that I've been with my husband for almost 17 years, married for 13. I've never once cheated or given him any reason to think I would. Yes, I admit to still caring about my ex and communicating with him without telling my husband, but I don't think that my marriage is necessarily "doomed" because of it. What I will acknowledge is that if I continue along this route, things could get bad but I am working on not letting that happen.

Hi Nina000, I know I should tell my husband but I also know why I don't and it's because he would basically "freak out" over it. So the non disclosure is really another term for "liar" and that's awful I know. He is a decent man and deserves to know. Better yet, he deserves for me not to be doing this at all! I don't deny any of that and basically am guilty of having an emotional affair with someone who I've loved since the age of 15. But putting my marriage in jeopardy by divulging this affair that's only been in my head just doesn't seem smart. What would be smart is for me to cut ties with the ex all together. In my rational, level headed mind, I know that. I've just had an internal battle going on between my head and my heart about this. I wish I were stronger, smarter and more honorable then this.

I appreciate all of your comments. I don;t take offense to any of them. The very reason why I post here is because for the most part the responses are well thought out and mostly on point. I'm not trying to back peddle around my own thoughts and words. I've been as honest as possible and I appreciate the honest feedback even if it's not always reflecting well on me. I'm not a bad person, just a woman who has loved someone so deeply that getting over him has been the hardest emotional challenge I've ever faced.


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