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Hey Everyone,

I'm going through a really rough time right now. I don't really know who to turn to at this point. I feel like my relationship has ended but the words havent exactly been said yet. I'm stuck in this bad position and i'm exhausted and confused emmotionally I feel like I can't take anymore. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. We've been living together for 4 of those years. We've had bad times and good times and went through periods where i thought it was really over and then eventually we get along and things work out. Where I am now though I feel like this is it.

let me just say that he has an addiction problem as well as a depression problem. He struggles with drugs & alcohol and when he's sober and in AA he gets addicted to things like going to the gym & working out constantly and there was even a period where he had a problem with porn. It just seems like theres always SOMETHING that he is addicted too. I've been there supporting him all this time. If he's sober i'm sober, He partys I party.

A few months ago we had this amazing relationship we were doing things having sex everyday, etc. Then somewhere something just happened. We havent had sex in about 6 months. He won't kiss me. He won't do romantic things for me. He will not talk to me about it. It's like we are roomates just living here together. Theres no relationship. the last few months he got a real serious addiction to percocets and went into detox and now he's on medication for his withdraws and going to his AA meetings. I don't know if this has anything to do with his mood or changes toward me. Normally most people would think automatically that he's cheating on me. I know for a fact that there is no possible way he's cheating because I know where he is 24/7 I've thought about it but there is just no way so that is not the problem.

Like I said we live together in an apartment and we also have pets. It's his apartment he is the one who pays the bills and I'm in school right now. So If he really wanted me out he could just say GET OUT. When I'm not in class I clean the apartment, clean up after all the pets (cleaning a bird cage, kitty litter, a hamster cage, a dog cage.) Feeding the animals, cooking dinner for us. I DO EVERYTHING! he works and pays the bills. I always do the dishes and laundry. Yet I feel like he has no appreciation for the things I do at all. He is starting to say mean things like critisizing the way I cook & clean. It really hurts my feelings because I just want to please him and make him happy and I feel stupid and like I can't do anything right. Theres no affection at all and I am craving affection and the intimacy of sex. I have been turned down so much that I feel like im way to embarrassed to even do it again. There is absolutely no reason for me to feel like this because I am a beautiful girl I have the face & body of a 10 and i know that i can do so much better than him but i love him so much. I'm just so confused because a few months ago he was looking at engagement rings and talking about getting married and having a baby. Even now he talks about us getting a house. I'm thinking how are we going to move into a house if our relationship is like this?

I reach for his hand and he doesnt acknowledge me. I go to kiss him and he keeps his mouth closed. If I walk around naked he doesnt even look at me. It just hurts me so bad. Its like he doesnt even care. I've asked him over and over again to just end it if he doesnt want to be with me thats fine but i cant play these games anymore. It might sound so stupid to everyone else but we have a dog that we both love so much and I registered the dog in my name so he knows if I leave i'm taking him to court for the dog. Sometimes I think that he's with me because he doesnt wanna have to fight over the dog or seperate the dog from one of us. Some nights he'll tell me he loves me and then treat me like this. Now with the AA meetings I hardly see him and when he's home he watches tv and goes to bed. He wont talk to me. he's giving me mixed signals and its not fair.

I'm just soo upset. I really thought that this was it for me I was expecting to get an engagment soon. All my friends have babies or are pregnant and I have been with him longer than any of them were with their guys and they all have kids and it rips me apart because they know my situation. I feel like an moron for putting up with it but i don't wanna leave and take the dog and risk losing the dog and all. I'm hurting so bad and I wish I knew what I did or what was so wrong with me. I wish he would just talk to me. I've asked him 1000 times if we are over and sometimes in the heat of an argument he will say yeah "i havent touched you in months what do you think?" then sometimes he wont say anything. I just want him to tell me its over I dont wanna be the one to do it. If its just him going through a depression issue thats fine but he wont talk. I don't know what to do anymore. It just hurts so bad





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