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I've been on tabs for anxiety due to sister troubles for over 18 months now. Our views on things are at either end of the scale and we have never agreed on matters concerning my children. I stopped doing what she thought I should do and that has made her very angry.
Her - opinionated, harsh judge, the 'fixer', secretive, controller.
Me - took all she threw at me in the past then decided I could no longer have her in my life, (she made me emotionally unstable). But, it hasn't solved anything!!!
I now have a very loose apology from her - which does not cover any issues I have with her. She still see herself as blameless and doesn't 'get it', as to why I had to make this stand with her in the first place.

My question - Is there any point not having her in my life, if it is causing me anxiety doing it in the first place? The flip side of that is - I will have to back down and but that will be seen as weakness on my part, permission for her to continue being rightious.
I know avoidance isn't the answer. I've texted her the issues that surround the problems I have with her, with no repy! Are some people so 'rightious' that they really are incapable to seeing what damage they do to others? Or maybe now I've had the time and space to become stronger emotionally, I should confront her. (haven't in the past as it just leaves me in tears).
She obviously doesn't see or doesn't care to see the anxiety she causes you. Yes, there are people so righteous that they can't even begin to see the damage they do to others.

I have to ask, why do you and your sister have to agree upon how you raise your children? How is that any of her business? What are some of the problems, specifically, that you have? I think a few answers will help to give better advice.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever considered therapy? You have been though a lot in your past. Add to that the stress from your son and your sister and that's enough to make anyone feel the way you do. Therapy could really help you to work through all of these feelings you have and find a healthy way to deal with your sister.
[QUOTE=happymom28;3416063]Please don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever considered therapy? You have been though a lot in your past. Add to that the stress from your son and your sister and that's enough to make anyone feel the way you do. Therapy could really help you to work through all of these feelings you have and find a healthy way to deal with your sister.[/QUOTE]

I take everything on board and haven't taken it the wrong way at all. I find on line advice helpful, sometimes just writing the problem down helps. You have posed the question I need the answer to - How do I deal with her in a healthy manner? You know, I tried to open up communication, first I need an explanation, but none is forthcoming. Every time I think of writing or ringing, I get hit with what she said. Honestly, I've had more compassion shown here by total strangers than my sister over the last few years. And believe it or not, I'm alot more logical/rational than I was a couple of years ago! :)





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