It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I'm also dealing with a husband who showed signs of having an (actually 2) emotional affairs in the past. Right now we are going to a therapist who is wonderful. He likes her & I do too but she wasn't the first one we tried. Sometimes you have to shop to find the right fit. My husband has never admitted to getting too close to these other women but he did make a comment last night that we "had" a problem with him getting too close to female co workers. That's as close to a confession as he's come. The fact that your husband is opening up to you is a really HUGE step in healing. His depression could have a lot to do with the emotional distance you both are feeling. He may have thought it was harmless to talk about his feelings with a woman other than his wife & it back fired on him. Maybe he didn't want to upset you with talk of him being depressed? The fact is, many people go through depression & there's nothing to be ashamed about. If you can, gently nudge him into counseling. Maybe if you bring it up as you needing it & needing him there with you, he'll more acceptable about going.
I feel for you & wish you the best of luck.
Thanks for replying

Leeleelanilou: Since opening up to me the other day, he has been so much better, more attentive and wanting to spend time with me. I agree with you that maybe this did backfire on him. He is a very caring man. I feel that he kinda got caught up in some of her problems too. Maybe trying to help by talking and it went somewhere it wasn't supposed to.

Good luck with your conseling and I hope all goes well for you. I will try to convince mine that this is maybe what we need.

Princessanna: An emotional affair can be just as bad on a relationship as a sexual affair only, I guess the terms are different. IMHO, emotional affairs, if not stopped, lead to sexual affairs. He has not crossed the lines as far as any kissing or anthing sexual. I guess what hurts me is that some other woman caught his attention and he became fast friends and would talk a lot to her, but not me.

He broke things off several months ago, but is still dealing with getting his emotions in line.

I found out because his behavior was changing. He was distant. I just plain out asked him what was wrong. He started crying and told me about this person, this friend. He had just broken it off that week. So I knew after that fact. What is so strange it that I had never even heard of an emotional affair until the week before. I was reading an article and noticed some of the same things happening with my husband.
BeaTrade I am so sorry that you went through that for 15 years. I do not and will not go that long (I hope). The reason I believe that it went no further is becasue of the depression and him seeming like he is missing something and not getting over it. If they had crossed the sexual lines, he would have that part out of his system, right? I don't know. Maybe it is BS. I know it's BS that this is even happening.

Princess SweetNS I, like you, have been through both. When he had the sexual affair, I was younger and very dependent on him. Now, things are somewhat different. Both were/are very hurtful. The emotional affair seems to have no end in sight. If left alone, I believe it will/would have turned physical. That is why I am trusting him when he says that it is over and there is no going back. I am sorry for you that you have lived through both of these things. She has a husband and a small child and hope that she rededicates herself to her family.

Nohema What makes things seem so empty is just knowing that he cared for some other woman enough to share long conversations with her when we barley have time for brief chats. My relationship does seem empty but like I said earlier, he is paying more attention to me and spending time with me. Maybe I can try harder to not be so busy and be there for him too. We have a 5 year old, whom he loves so very much. I think some of his problem is that he doesn't want to leave the security of us and our home. We have been together for 23 years. Change is scary, but like I told him - I am strong and will be OK, just make up your mind.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:36 AM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!