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[QUOTE=shorti;3431903]was he deliberately keeping them from you or did he tell you? what if he died and you re-married? does that mean you have to throw out all the memories of him because you would be disrespecting your new partner? what happens when members in your family die? those people are now in your past. does that mean you will throw away those photos because its in the past and now you have them in your head? why do we take photos in the first place? so we can look back into the past when we feel like it. we can reflect on our childhood, exes, family members that have died, our pets and whatever we choose to remember. noone has the right to throw them away. i look forward to the futute too, but i have the right to reflect on the past too when i feel like it and so does my boyfriend. why should anyone have to throw away a chapter of their lives because someone is jealous and insecure? my parents were married and divorced. they kept their wedding photos despite the fact they got new partners. im sure the day you got married was the most happiest day in your life and no matter what happens to that marriage, it will remain one of the happiest days of your life. the feelings you have on that day will never change despite what happens, so why throw it away because it didnt work out?
a respectful adult would talk to their partner if something bothered them, not just throw it away without their permission. i think that comes accross as controlling and at the end of the day he is an individual with his own thoughts and feelings.[/QUOTE]

He told me that he had a photo of his ex that he would like me to delete from his mobile phone once it was fully charged. So he took the first initiative with regards to this.

A few months later we had a conversation when I met his mum and she was showimg me some of her jewellery which included her old wedding ring. I felt that was a bit strange for her to keep something from her ex-husband and wondered what her current husband thought of it. So I discussed that with my OH who told me he felt it was disrespectful to a current partner to deliberately keep something from an ex. He then told me that in his draws/wardobe somewhere there would be a photo of his ex. He said he could not be bothered to look for it to destroy it but when he does find it, he will get rid of it.

When I found some pics on his computer, I got rid of them and told him what I had done. He said he never looks at them and had no problem with me erasing them.

With regards to someone who is dead, I'm very lucky to have not yet lost someone very dear to me. I worry and dredd it though, as it is only a matter of time. When I do lose someone close to me, I think it would help me if there were no photos or things that will remind me of them, I imagine that will be my coping mechanism.





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