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Some of you may have read some of my posts... I had been dating someone 9 years my Jr..he was smart, kind,funny.. he was or so it seemed mature for his age. We both fell hard...after a month the "L" word made it's appearance. I loved him to. He said it first. So as time went on it seemed good .. at one point he wanted to break up. I was shocked things were going so well. The next day he said he made a huge mistake.. and said he wanted to be with me.. we got back together. Just this past Sat we got into this huge conversation. He is quite philosophical, analizes everything... he said he loved me we have so much in common...but then said there were "red flags".. I interupt him.. I blow things out of proportion, I repeat myself.. and I am not as confidant as I first seemed. Well that offended me. He said dating is like test driving a car... you don't know if you like it til you have driven it for awhile. And what if down the road he found out more things he did not like about me. And how he wanted me to be myself. I said what I have shown him was me. And I got mad and said there were things I did not like about him. but I loved him for who he was. That is what love is. And to get off his high horse... and how did he last 3 years with someone else( as he told me all the things he disliked about her) when with me he could not even last 2 months. He said I insulted him got mad and went to leave my place. I asked for my key he said well I am not breaking up with you I just need time. I said I cannot speak my mind or be me but you can? that pretty much sums it up I want my key. So basically broke up with him. He left. I was very upset in tears.. I have has issues sleeping.. I am very sad I hurt.... I think I am a good catch!!! I am a good person.. I know I am. He also said I talk about myself alot and that shows insecurity.. no I never used to talk about me ever.. in my past. In the last year I have changed. I was so upset a million things how could he make how I thought we were seem so.. sterile!!! so insignificant??? He said he loved me first and he always smiled at me and would look at me and say how happy he was.. I don't get it. Infact the night before he just starred at me and smiled.. I asked what? he said I am just happy . Then the next day all the sudden ... I am very hurt.. I have a extremely hard time letting guys in..letting down the wall... I do and look.. I am hurt. How could he hurt me so bad.... I realize things happend so fast.. but neither one of us had that happen before... I did love him for him. Damn it I still do. But this rollercoaster.. not right not fair to me. I need someone who loves me for excactly who I am. Good and bad? am I wrong in how I feel? I hate this.... I am 34 and feel like I will never meet the "one" and I thought he was... I guess I was wrong... that is hard....
I am new to this forum but I just read your post and I have to say I am going through a similair situation.

I met my soulmate 2 years ago - and I say that with confidence becasue I am 31 (32 in a few months) and I am a responsible, sensible mature woman and I know the difference between lust, a fling and true love.

Moving on, he and I shared the most amazing connection, physically, emotionally, intelluctually, and he told me almost 3 months ago out of the blue he didn't feel the same way for me as I felt for him. Now, the past three months have been very hard and I have been sad and have tried very hard not to bother him. But I feel in my heart we will find our way back to eachother and just give him the "space" he needs - my best advice go buy the book by John Gray, the 5 steps to dating. My friend bought it for me and it great!


Hang in there!


[QUOTE=D31;3435527]Some of you may have read some of my posts... I had been dating someone 9 years my Jr..he was smart, kind,funny.. he was or so it seemed mature for his age. We both fell hard...after a month the "L" word made it's appearance. I loved him to. He said it first. So as time went on it seemed good .. at one point he wanted to break up. I was shocked things were going so well. The next day he said he made a huge mistake.. and said he wanted to be with me.. we got back together. Just this past Sat we got into this huge conversation. He is quite philosophical, analizes everything... he said he loved me we have so much in common...but then said there were "red flags".. I interupt him.. I blow things out of proportion, I repeat myself.. and I am not as confidant as I first seemed. Well that offended me. He said dating is like test driving a car... you don't know if you like it til you have driven it for awhile. And what if down the road he found out more things he did not like about me. And how he wanted me to be myself. I said what I have shown him was me. And I got mad and said there were things I did not like about him. but I loved him for who he was. That is what love is. And to get off his high horse... and how did he last 3 years with someone else( as he told me all the things he disliked about her) when with me he could not even last 2 months. He said I insulted him got mad and went to leave my place. I asked for my key he said well I am not breaking up with you I just need time. I said I cannot speak my mind or be me but you can? that pretty much sums it up I want my key. So basically broke up with him. He left. I was very upset in tears.. I have has issues sleeping.. I am very sad I hurt.... I think I am a good catch!!! I am a good person.. I know I am. He also said I talk about myself alot and that shows insecurity.. no I never used to talk about me ever.. in my past. In the last year I have changed. I was so upset a million things how could he make how I thought we were seem so.. sterile!!! so insignificant??? He said he loved me first and he always smiled at me and would look at me and say how happy he was.. I don't get it. Infact the night before he just starred at me and smiled.. I asked what? he said I am just happy . Then the next day all the sudden ... I am very hurt.. I have a extremely hard time letting guys in..letting down the wall... I do and look.. I am hurt. How could he hurt me so bad.... I realize things happend so fast.. but neither one of us had that happen before... I did love him for him. Damn it I still do. But this rollercoaster.. not right not fair to me. I need someone who loves me for excactly who I am. Good and bad? am I wrong in how I feel? I hate this.... I am 34 and feel like I will never meet the "one" and I thought he was... I guess I was wrong... that is hard....[/QUOTE]





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