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Hi Jess- I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult and confusing time, I've been there, most of us on these boards have been there!

How did I decide to break up? Well, just like you, I had lots of insecurities, jealousy issues, we fought a TON, and all in all our relationship became ugly and unhealthy (which I was not able to say when we were together). One night (after being together 2.5 years and living together 1.5) he came home at 3 am again (was a problem of ours), I accused him of cheating which I now know he did and we broke up.

Maybe a tad more background would help....he lied to me a lot, and when he did he blamed me for it. After so many lies I was a nervous wreck about everything he did. He said my insecurities would end us, so I sought out therapry to "FIX" myself. Fast forwards to that night I just mentioned, we were in a huge fight, he went out and when he came home i lost it. He moved his clothing out the next day. All his stuff that following weekend. A few days later we were both miserable, crying, missed eachother, decided to try again...within a week (right after my best friends wedding) I ended it for good. I couldnt do it anymore, as much as I loved him. I was a big ball of insecurity! Everytime his phone rang or he went out. A month later I found out he had cheated on me a couple times.

Moral of the story...Dont let this be you. I am not saying our situations are the same, but you are obviously unhappy enough to say you are ready to end this...and I wrote a similar thread about a month or two before we broke up...

It has been four months, and yes, I still miss him from time to time, I loved him whole heartedly! But, I was an unhealthy mess with him. That was not what a relationship is meant to be. Everyday I reminded myself that picking up the phone and getting back together would only pull be back into a situation that I didnt deserve to be in. And just like you, I realized I deserve better than this. I dont want to be with someone who lies to me and makes me feel stressed all the time.

Moving back in together wont help either. It will make things worse, like it was the first time you were living together...

It is really hard, but so worth it. I am 25 and I still have plenty of time to find someone who will treat me right. This is getting long, and I dont feel like I have given the clearist of advice, but it is a start!

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