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So I met this guy off an online dating site and we seem to get along really well. We hangout mabey once or twice a week and when we are together it is absolutely wonderful. We both have quirky senses of humor and seem to click perfectly!
He originally told me (in emails) how he was a shy person and that was why he does the online thing. I myself did it because I have never really been on the dating thing (I was married for the past 6 years and he was the 1st guy I ever dated!) and figured online would be better for me
Well he is a drummer in a band and has invited me out even to a few of his shows. His whole personality with me and everyone around him give me the impression that he does not come off as shy, but who am I to judge right? lol!

Well I guess he works in a job where there are mostly women and he goes out to lunch with them most days. I don’t mind that, but he has made some comments about ‘this secretary’ who works where he works. He talks about how she has a kid and her work ethics suck and how she want to be a nurse, ect, ect..I just nod my head and let him talk about her. He must go out to lunch a lot with her too (he told me as we were driving near his work ‘oh I ate there with (I cant remember her name)’ ..and it looked like a really nice resturaunt too.
I have also noticed in the past few weeks he has stopped calling me while he is out at lunch and doesn’t call me until he is at his house after work..I don’t know if I am just thinking wayyy into all of this or not…?

Well I have known for a while (since last month) how he was going to this hockey game coming up (I was with him when he bought them) I guess I assumed I would be going with him but he never brought it up, so I figured he must be going with one of his family. But I just found out that he is taking this ‘secretary’!!!
He has even complained on how he might take that Monday off and I asked him why and he said ‘because Im gonna get drunk!” then I told him well then if you have 2 work don’t drink so much and he said he well I want to have an awesome night though..(I just told him to be careful)

I know that I should not get worked up about this, as the majority of his friends are women (at least on his my space it looks that way!!!). He even kept his old cell # from a different state because most his friends live out there! He also keeps in contact with every one of his ex’s(they all live back east). He even told me that he talks to one of his ex’s almost every day (he talked to her while I was in the room) they still call each other PET NAMES!!! And this ex always makes comments on his my space how he is sexy and how she misses him, how he ‘needs to come over here and warm her up’, xoxox, and stuff of that nature…
I asked him about that and he just says that that is just how she is and if I had a problem with him talking to his ex’s (I told him no).

So I know we both haven’t really haven’t declared us as ‘offically dating’ either, so who am I to flip out over it right? But I did tell him that I am just getting out of a bad relationship (going on 6months ago) and that I cant take getting hurt and he told me ‘he is not one of those guys’.
So am I being really paranoid? I don’t even know which way to think about this..he is either just a nice guy (because I think if he was doing something wrong, why he even bring her up in our convos) and I just have to get over the fact that 95% of his friends are women, OR he is a typical player and I need to bolt.
He has told me (In txt) how he says he is falling and how I make him feel like noone else has. He even talks about me going back east with him to meet his friends and family and what Im doing in April, ect.

It just seems as of late the momentum of our ‘relationship’ have slowed waaaaay down. Ex: I get no replies from emails, half the time no replies from my text and shorter conversations lately.

I really like him but don’t want to scare him away by thinking I may be ‘insecure, controlling, or even psycho. I hope that he isn’t moving on or is just ‘exploring his options’ still.

I hate to say it because I am totally falling in love with him and I am getting scared that he may just be toying with me! =(

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