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I apologize for the length but there is an incredibly crazzy story to follow: For 2 years I lived with this amazing, loyal, fun person who was madly in love with me. We lived together for about 9 months. Sadly in December of 2006 he was involved in a car accident that resulted in the death of the person he hit. Because of a change in recent laws of our state and the fact that witnesses at the scene said that he ran a yellow light he was charged with vehicular manslaughter.
Subsequently, he racked up over $20,000 in lawyers fees and the lawyer wanted a large sum of the money before trial. We had to leave our apartment and he had to move back in with his parents and I with my grandmother. He also had to get a 2nd job. Unbeknownst to me the man that got him the 2nd job was a person that he used to do drugs with before he met me. (When he met me he was addicted to crystal meth and cocaine but the stopped cold turkey so that he could enter into a relationship with me so I didn't know until we had been dating for a while that he ever had a drug problem)
He maintains that the fact that he no longer had our solid home to come back to at night, coupled with the stress of the court charges and the influence of his former drug partner; he began using not too long after he went back to his parents home and he had been hiding it from me for at least 4 months.
Even after we left our home, I called him to wake him up for work in the morning, he called me when he got to work, he called me when he left work, he called me when he got home etc... I later found out that even though he called me when he got home, he pretended to go to sleep but he proceeded to get dressed and go out "partying". One night, I guess he was to drunk or high to call. This was the first time in 2 years of us being together that this had ever happened so I was extremely worried. I called and called and finally I got into my car and drove to his parents house hoping that he was just sleep and that was why he didn't answer. After sitting in front of his house for about 15 minutes he finally pulled up. He was still dressed in his uniform from work so I wanted to believe him when he said that he was working late but I knew that something was off because he was off at 10pm and it was 3:30am. He went into his room and immediately brushed his teeth (something else I found off) and in the middle of our arguing back and forth he fell asleep. I left that night and he didn't call me for a week.
When I finally called him he said that we weren't compatible anymore and that he only cared for me as a friend. After probing for over an hour he finally admitted that it was the drugs and not our compatibility that was the problem. He said that he didn't want to hurt me anymore or put me through the turmoil so we were done. This was and still is devastating.

Fortunately or unfortunately I never knew the addict "jean-do", I have only known the clean, sweet, wonderful man that I was with for 2 years. Even though he had been doing drugs for months after he moved home he made sure not to use the night before or the day that we were going to see each other. Because he had 2 jobs and we no longer lived together we saw each other maybe once or twice a week but we talked constantly and he never showed any signs of use when he was dealing with me.
If he was exceptionally tired, it made sense because he worked 16 hour days 6 days a week sometimes. He never mentioned wanting to use or having urges so I had no Idea. I still only see the man that I have known all this time so it is very hard to believe that the other guy is taking over. I desperately want my boy back, before it's too late if it's not already.
When I talk to him I can tell that he wants help, and then he doesn't. I also know that he's worth trying to help. I know that his parents useless if he really does want help.( I confronted his father about his drug use, he told me that if he got around to seeing him in the coming week he would call me back and he never did). I found out later that "Jean-Do" told his father that I was going to call and say that he was on drugs because he broke up with me. However, his father didn't even follow up IN CASE I wasn't lying. I mean, even if he believed I was just scorned if it was MY son I would keep an eye on him just in case, this man did not.
About 2 weeks after he broke things off with me he called me to say that he missed me and that he had a gift for me and he asked me to swing by that night and pick it up. When I got there he presented me with a Heart Necklace and a big white teddy bear that said "Happy Valentine's Day" (he presented me with a Valentine early because part of his court settlement was that he remain on house arrest for 1 month) I thought that is was a sweet gesture so I sat down to talk to him. He showed me his new phone and since it is an organizer type phone he let me play around with it while he went into the kitchen. Well, I found text messages to his EX girlfriend who he hadn't seen or spoken to in 3 yrs and the texts were: "I love you, I can't be without you, I can't stop thinking about you etc..." Needless to say I flipped out, threw the necklace on the bed tossed the teddy bear and left.
He called me the next day to explain that all of that was a "game", that she just "happened" to call him and he wanted to seek revenge on her by pretending to still love her and then dropping her like she did him. This is either childish, a lie, or both IMO (he's 22yo) so he asked me to come to his home so that I could watch him send a text telling her QUOTE: "This was Just a game, it's over."
I still was not impressed and I told him if he even wanted me to CONSIDER talking to him again he had to change his number. He said okay and that he would call me the next day with his new number.
The whole day came and went and he had not called so finally at about 12am I drove over to his house to ask him what was up and he was in his room in his bed sleeping with the subject of the TEXTS!!! and to top it off she was wearing MY necklace!!!
This was a man who was beyond faithful for 2 yrs. I never had any reason not to trust him, I can't even explain in words the morals and character of this man. and this lengthy post is just the tip of the iceberg.
So I guess my question is: Did the drugs kill my sweet boy? Is he gone for good? and after all of this turmoil can the 2 perfect years that preceeded this horrific downward spiral be enough to salvage any kind of friendship/relationship with him? Or is it too late?
I still see my sweet boyfriend when I look at him and not the monster he has become and my heart is broken:(
Thank you for your time and any advice.





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