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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I started seeing my boyfriend at 18, he was 20. We were very young. He was very in love with me from the start. He wanted to be with me all the time. We became best friends.

After another 2 years together were almost perfect because he started going to college again, and got a coaching job. He wanted me to move in with him and his mom, and eventually get an apartment, and get married. So I moved in, for 3 months, and things were "crowded".

Then we got an apartment for a year. He was no longer coaching and only had a part time job. We were having trouble paying the bills, so I made the decison to move in with my mom out of state to finish college. We had a long distance relationship for a year and a half. I tried to get him to move to where I was and go to college, but he wouldn't do it. Our long distance relationship was taking a toll.

I was getting really lonely. He kept insisting he was "so" in love with me and loved me so much. I had given him a couple of years to find a job or go back to college and he was doing neither. I asked him to get all types of jobs, and suggested some career paths, and he kept saying he didn't want to work at this type of job or that type. He asked me to come back and get an apartment with him again. I said I couldn't because he had no job, and I wasn't finished with college.

He told me he wanted "see me walk down the ilse wearing a white dress", and that "his heart beat for me". A week later, I broke up with him. I couldn't help it. I got the feeling he was going out on me, even though he was saying all of these things.

Right after that, he wouldn't talk to me or answer the phone when I called. So 2 weeks after I broke up with him, I drove out of state and found him putting clothes in his car. I asked him what he was doing, and he was moving in with another girl!!!!

How could he have found someone to move in with that fast? He said he loved me, but he loved her too. I asked him how he could love someone in a week? But he wouldn't talk to me and got in the car and drove away. I was devestated. I went back home, and I was so crushed. How could he have said those things to me and came to see me every week out of state, but moved in with someone else so fast? I thought breaking up with him would motivate him to get a job or move with me.

Exactly six days later, he wrecked this girl in a drunk driving accident. He had NEVER drank anything while we were together. SIX days after I drove down there and found him putting clothes in his car!

The girl had a major leg injury and needed surgery! He called me and wanted to come and see me while she was in the hospital! I told him to stay away from me. He keeps calling me, and I'm changing my phone number. I can't take him back after this can I? I really, really love him. But he told me he loved someone else and moved in with them! And then wrecked. I feel so traumatized.

Was this all my fault? Did I cause this wreck? Can I take him back? He has to take care of this girl he wrecked now, that's the right thing to do, so I think I have to let the love of my life go, right? It's the right thing, right? He told me he loved her, so why did he get drunk and wreck her? He swears he wasn't seeing her before I broke up with him, but I don't see how he could have moved in with someone that fast, or "loved" someone else that fast. What should I do? And what's everyone's take on this situation?





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