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Thanks again. I can't thank you enough. But I can't help but feel a little responsible, although it's not my fault.

In addition to that, it's like I can't worry about my feelings at all because of the seriousness of the situation.

I can't wonder if he meant it when he said he loved the other girl, or if he was dating her before we broke up. I can't wonder anything because he did something so horrible in an instant. If he wasn't dating her before we broke up like he said, then I feel horrible because I hurt him, and someone was badly injured as a result. If he was dating her before we broke up, that's hurtful to me, but would release me of the guilt that I helped cause this situation, because then I would know that I didn't help cause it at all. I'll never get the truth, I know. I think I'll be haunted by this for life. The truth would set me free. But if he really wasn't cheating, then the truth will haunt me forever. This is a bad situation, when my boyfriend cheating would be the better answer for me!

He's says he got drunk because I "wanted to sleep with antother guy". And I really didn't! I didn't say anything like that. I just wanted to move on with my life if he wasn't going to step up to the plate.


HELP!
Well bettertimes, I've gotten drawn into to giving advice the past couple of days on this board.

I would say, he probably was seeing her before the break up, so don't let him give you the guilt trip. It's doubtful that he was seeing her very long though, because he was obviously very upset if he was drinking and had that wreck so soon. If he'd been seeing her a while, I don't think the wreck would have happened. He probably was upset over you, but he probably was cheating also, with someone he didn't really want. But someone who won't make him work and is probably paying the bills. When you go out with someone because they'll pay the bills for you and won't expect anything in return, you're usually not going out with them for an "in love" reason. So I don't think he loves the other girl, no matter what he said. Love doesn't happen that quickly. It's not love to get drunk and drive with the person you love in the car. If he didn't drink before, he was definately upset about something. And drinking or not, you're more likey to wreck if you're emotionally upset.

However, it's not your fault at all, as other's have said on this board. He had no business doing that if he was upset over your relationship. It should have been clear to him, after such a long relationship that if he wanted you, the better thing to do instead of moving in with a girl he didn't want, and then getting drunk, would have been to go and see you and let you know he'd get a job and change his ways, and be there for you. He didn't do this. He chose his path. It's hurtful, but it's his mistake and not yours.

I'd say move on with your life. If later down the road he gets his life in order and you haven't found any else yet, than take him back, if that's what you want. But he clearly needs to grow up first.

Good luck.:angel:





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