It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Re: Confidence?
Mar 2, 2008
Anyone who says that looks have nothing to do with initial attraction is a liar. Looks ABSOLUTELY have to do with initially liking somebody.. maybe 50% or more. We're humans, and we're programmed to notice that. You can't really turn this off.. especially as far as initial reactions go. Once you get to know somebody, looks might be less important, but as far as first impressions, looks definitely make an impact!

LUCKILY.. different people are attracted to different things. Some like blondes, some like brunettes, some like redheads. Some like big noses, some like small.. some like feminine features on guys and others like a more rugged look. Some girls like scrawny looking guys.. some like them super muscular and others like them to have a little meat on their bones. Every girl will like something different.

Confidence is a HUGE part of it though. Girls can absolutely tell if you're confident or if you have low self esteem. If you're confident.. even if you're a little shy, that will be perceived as much more attractive.

It sounds like you've been told that you're attractive. That's a great start! So now.. a step you can take is to start going to the gym and start working out. They say that people who regularly go to the gym.. no matter what they look like.. feel a lot more confident than those that don't. Find a stylish haircut that looks good on you, and clothing that compliment you. Will these superficial things change whether or not girls notice you? Maybe. But more importantly, it will probably boost your self confidence and make you feel more attractive, and that alone might make girls notice you! Start telling yourself that you're a confident, attractive guy. Say that to yourself a 100 times a day, and eventually you will start believing it, even if you initially feel like it's a lie. I'm not kidding! Start standing up straighter and making more eye contact. If you start acting and thinking like a confident guy, eventually it will become a habit. Also.. have you thought about picking up a hobby (like martial arts, or something..). Not only will this expose you to meeting new people, but it may also boost your self esteem.

Nobody on this board can give you the self confidence you need. It's up to you to go out and do whatever you need to to improve your self worth. Now go find that sexy beast lurking inside you and let him out!!
Re: Confidence?
Mar 3, 2008
[QUOTE=anilorak;3467935]Anyone who says that looks have nothing to do with initial attraction is a liar. Looks ABSOLUTELY have to do with initially liking somebody.. maybe 50% or more. We're humans, and we're programmed to notice that. You can't really turn this off.. especially as far as initial reactions go. Once you get to know somebody, looks might be less important, but as far as first impressions, looks definitely make an impact!

LUCKILY.. different people are attracted to different things. Some like blondes, some like brunettes, some like redheads. Some like big noses, some like small.. some like feminine features on guys and others like a more rugged look. Some girls like scrawny looking guys.. some like them super muscular and others like them to have a little meat on their bones. Every girl will like something different.

Confidence is a HUGE part of it though. Girls can absolutely tell if you're confident or if you have low self esteem. If you're confident.. even if you're a little shy, that will be perceived as much more attractive.

It sounds like you've been told that you're attractive. That's a great start! So now.. a step you can take is to start going to the gym and start working out. They say that people who regularly go to the gym.. no matter what they look like.. feel a lot more confident than those that don't. Find a stylish haircut that looks good on you, and clothing that compliment you. Will these superficial things change whether or not girls notice you? Maybe. But more importantly, it will probably boost your self confidence and make you feel more attractive, and that alone might make girls notice you! Start telling yourself that you're a confident, attractive guy. Say that to yourself a 100 times a day, and eventually you will start believing it, even if you initially feel like it's a lie. I'm not kidding! Start standing up straighter and making more eye contact. If you start acting and thinking like a confident guy, eventually it will become a habit. Also.. have you thought about picking up a hobby (like martial arts, or something..). Not only will this expose you to meeting new people, but it may also boost your self esteem.

Nobody on this board can give you the self confidence you need. It's up to you to go out and do whatever you need to to improve your self worth. Now go find that sexy beast lurking inside you and let him out!![/QUOTE]


Yeah, I know looks are important, and I'm sure it has more than a 50% influence on whether or not someone is date-able. And, from what others have said I am pretty well-off in that area (I think listening to members of the same gender is usually a bad idea when it comes to looks, for obvious reasons), but that doesn't mean I believe that though.

As I've said, I'm really thinking of going to a psych, to see if my doubts are valid or not. I've also been debating whether or not I should go to college (I know I should) as it would help me out a lot in certain areas.

But, to address the "people are attracted to different things" that is true, but to a certain extent. As far as facial structure goes, most people would have the same view on whether or not a face is attractive, alot of research goes into that stuff, you know?

And I hope I don't come across as an ass, but the whole "be thankful for what god gave you" always rings hollow to me. I mean, if it works for other people, that's great, BUT if I find out there is something wrong fundamentally with my looks, I've already considered getting it "fixed." I think people are lucky to have that option, and I'm not one of those people who could be comfortable with (if proven true) a (big) visual flaw.

My perception of my looks has held me back for a long time, and I don't like this guessing game. Even after I know one way or another, I'll still have my doubts, and that'll probably be the biggest challenge.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:06 PM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!