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Relationship Health Message Board


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after getting blind-sided with a divorce in the most disrespectfull way (not even a dear john letter, just a "went to pick up kids at school... be right back.. love you! ..... then a knock at the door by the guy serving the papers) I AM DONE. I swallowed my pride for the good of the family. I attempted to examine the possibility of exhausting all resources for reconcilliaton and calling this an unexpected trial seperation. It takes two though. After 15 years together (half of our lives) and two amazing kids later, it all fell to $5*t. The abstract reasons of "I can't expect u to change and I need more than you can give me" are b.s. I worked my butt off (gladly and proudly) to allow her to stay home to work on a dissertation. When she was "overwhelmed" I hired housekeepers because I was too tired after working 50-hours a week to vacuum. I was proud that I could provide. I devoted time daily to the family and devoted obe day a week for date night and another for daddy / kiddo night. So, finally after being toyed with and finally told "we are not on the same page" I AM DONE. I never cheated. I was never abusive in any way. In 15 years I think voices were raised no more than 5 times. It doesn't matter anymore though. The rest of the detils that plea my case of being wronged by her are inconsequential. I will play the hand that I have been dealt. I have many friends that are in my life and since the divorce was kicked off--and she refused to consider counseling--- i have made new "friends". Dating is so foriegn. I still feel like I am doing something wrong by going out with other people. I had to dust myself off and get back out there though otherwise I just assumed a metaphorical fetal position and floated in the amniotic tears of sorrow and self-pity. It kind of sucks though. I meet nice girls and although I am not "Johnny Charisma" I have always been at conversation. I think this whole ordeal has damaged me, my ability to open up and trust so badly that it will be a long time before I am truly marketable again. I grieve the death of my marriage, the chaos of what used to be my happy little family, and resent the out of my X-wife for the betrayal that led to it. Well, such is life I guess. I'm not the 1st who has felt the sting of heartbreak and I won't be the last. But really ! Divorce me and then ask that I still pay the bills ?!?!?! GET A J.O.B. arrghhhh !!!!!!!:mad::mad::mad:





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