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Don't be one of "those girlfriends", because for a guy, that is one of the most unattractive things a girl can do. You need to chill out, because you're going to make him really upset and it's going to cause a huge fight!

The bottom line is, it's just one night, it's for another guy's bachelor party, and it's not like your bf picked the place himself. It's not like he goes all the time every night and spends all of his money there. That's another problem all together, but it's one that you don't have.

This situation is not a problem at all. But you're making it into one and you have to find a way to get over it. I can just see it now, he comes home from the party after having a good time with his buddies, and you totally jump all over him and kill any good feelings he had from the evening. That's a really mean thing to do, and it's completely unnecessary. So what if they buy him a lapdance, what's the big deal? Majority of those places don't allow the guy to touch them anyway, so it's not like he is even going to touch her at all. I think you need to just chill out and accept the fact that he's going to a party with a bunch of guys, which is a completely normal and typical guy thing to do for a bachelor party, and instead of being so insecure and jealous, you need to just let him go and have a good time.

I don't get the impression that the guy is a cheater, in fact I think that's the last thing you need to worry about. I'd be more worried about how you are being perceived by him, the way you're carrying on about this situation, than I would be about him ever doing anything even remotely considered cheating when he goes to this party. Be more worried about how you handle this situation, because if you handle it the wrong way, he might just leave because he doesn't need to get harassed just because he went to a party. Find a way to get over it and just accept that he's not going to cheat on you, and if you can't do that then maybe you shouldn't be with him at all? Those are really your only 2 options, at the end of the day.
[QUOTE=Larrylou'smom;3470869]I think you have a right to your beliefs, your morals and standards of behavior. How does your boyfriend feel? What did he say when you asked him not to get a lap dance? Did he reassure you that's not who he is and say of course he won't or did he roll his eyes, suck his teeth and reluctantly say "oh, alright already!! Ok!!" Hopefully if the two of you are on the same page, he willingly agreed to look but not touch at all.

This could be a test to see if the two of you are equally matched and if your values and world views are compatible. Personally, I would break up with any guy who got a lap dance and I found out about it. I really don't see any difference at all between buying a lap dance or picking up a strange girl at a bar or a concert and taking her home and dry you-know-whating her. A naked woman gyrating on your man's lap is a naked woman gyrating on your man's lap, to me it doesn't make much difference how or why she got there, the end result is exactly the same, and even the intent is basically the same, and to my mind it's cheating.

But if you trust him, believe he'll tell you the truth when he gets back. And you'll just have to work out your feelings about it when he gets back. You'll know if the two of you really are on the same page when he comes back and tells you about what happened. There's a lid for every pot as they say. I was watching that show on VH1 one day, about that ex super model who now has her own agency, she used to be a judge on Tyra Banks' Next Top Model show. She had a couple of models who had an issue with nudity and the male said he wouldn't disrespect his wife and family by just dropping his drawers just because someone told him to. Perhaps that's the kind of man you need to find. Someone who's on the same page as you and wouldn't dream of disrespecting you by having some other naked woman wiggle around on his lap. But you shouldn't have to force yourself to take or stomach something you have strong feelings and beliefs against just to keep a man. Good luck to you.[/QUOTE]


Thanks for understanding my point of view. It had Nothing to do with being insecure and thats apparently what Iv come across as being. In my oppionion, which is what matters to me, I think strip clubs and some related topics are disgusting, degrading and disrecpectful to women. To those who think differant thats their perogative! But I dont think its appropriate for my man to be visiting the strip clubs at all, but in this situation I havent jumped down his throat at all...I simply layed out rules I expect him to follow ( no touching, no lap dances)...If he wants to be with me, no other woman should be rubbing herself on his crotch, under any circumstance.. being a friends bachelor party or not. Its not exeptable to me. I think its ok for this time, for him to go and have a good time with his guys..thats why we had a discussion about it. I didnt mother him.
He has lyed to me many times in the past about woman, porn.. ect ect. So I dont trust him 100% and our values are extremely differant when it comes to these things. We are both slightly insecure about one another- In that he always wants to know what Im doing as well so its not one sided. We both have issues...and it hasnt been the easiest thing. Were both working on being more open and trusting with each other..

But thanks for all your replys. I think I came off as I was being too or controlling with him and trying to tie him to a chair or something lol
I know this post is somewhat over by now, but I was just reading them all and wanted to put in my two cents. I kind of skimmed over the posts so sorry if I missed some info or if I repeat something someone has already said...


I'm a girl who has no problem with porn (as long as they're not live cams or something). I'm on the fence about strip clubs. I don't think I'd really like a boyfriend going, but if it was for a bachelor party I would probably accept it. However, a "private" party where sexual acts occur, NO WAY! I have an ex boyfriend who attended a "private party" for a bachelor party...and they all intended to have sex with the girls. The ONLY reason they didn't was because one of the guys there was new to the group and they didn't trust him to keep his mouth shut and not tell anyone what went on at the party. I understand the whole guy "going along with the group" thing, but come on. If someone is in a serious relationship, I think they have every right to say that something is overstepping the boundaries and they cannot participate in it. I don't think my boyfriend would ever attend such a thing (he has a different type of friends who wouldn't do that type of thing anyway). But, if a situation did occur where he was invited to something like that, I like to think he would turn it down and put our relationship first.





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